"Hey losers!" I grinned as I entered the room where my friends were gathered around the bar and they all cheered and raised their glasses.
"Now the real party can start!"
They all laughed and Bill passed me a drink, "hey, man, glad you decided to show your face."
"I couldn't let you all get shitfaced without me now, could I?" I shrugged and threw back my drink.
"Next!"
Bill gripped my shoulder, "I can't believe this is all over, I didn't think we'd make it out of that place... you were awesome, man!"
"You sound surprised?" I frowned and he patted my shoulder.
"It was good to see you again Rich... I hope you won't be a stranger when we all go back home."
"Are you coming on to me?" I asked with a straight face and he half smiled.
"You're so not my type!"
I pretended to be shocked, "rugged good looks and a fantastic sense of humour isn't 'your type'?"
"Maybe the sense of humour bit..."
"Wow, that's fucking offensive!"
"Beep beep, Richie," Mike butted in and hugged me, "thanks for rescuing me."
"No problem, Mikey, you'd have done the same for me."
He nodded, "probably... although I don't think I'd have sworn so much at the monster that could literally swallow you whole." He smiled and Bill passed me another drink.
We stood around chatting for a few hours until we were too exhausted to stand, then we went to the lounge and sprawled out on the couches in there.
It was around 1am when Ben and Bev told us they were calling it a night.
"I hope you'll be thinking of me the whole time!" I called flatly after them and took a gulp from my cup.
Bill stood up and I turned my head to look at him, "You okay there, Billy boy?"
"Yeah I just think I'm gonna get some sleep. I've got a long drive back tomorrow."
I raised my glass to him and smiled sympathetically, and he slunk off back to his room.
"You know, I think I'll do the same," Mike got up slowly. He was the most sober of us all and barely looked like he had been drinking, "goodnight, Richie."
"Night, Mike. Catch ya in the morning."
He left too and I sat quietly staring at the wall ahead of me. I poured a little more whiskey into my glass and took another mouthful.
Truth be told I was dreading going home in the morning. We didn't know how this worked, we might forget all of this in a few days and then what? Back to pretending I was happy in my shitty old life?
I knocked back the rest of my drink and held the glass up to rest my head against the back of my hand.
"Where'd everyone go?" Eddie asked from the doorway and I squinted over at him.
"To bed... where the fuck have you been?"
He shrugged a shoulder, "nowhere... maybe on the bathroom floor... whatever."
"You should really learn to handle your alcohol."
"Ha ha," he shuffled over to me and pushed my legs off of the couch so he could sit down next to me.
"What's the matter?"
"To be honest... I'm not so thrilled about going home."
"How come?"
"It's just... after everything we've all been through... how are we supposed to just go back to normal?"
"I don't know, but I'm looking forward to getting away from here."
"Eh..." I filled my glass up again, "I guess I'm just not really looking forward to spending the rest of my life alone."
"What makes you say that?"
I shrugged and took a drink, "I've made this life for myself now, I can't just change everything."
"Of course you can, it's your life, no one else's."
"I dunno. It's weird... now I'm here it feels like I never left, and I'm not sure I want to go back to it all. I can't pretend to be someone I'm not anymore but I can't be who I want to be."
"You can be whoever you want to be."
I drank the rest of the glass and then poured more, "That's the thing," I looked at him, "I can't, can I?"
"Why not?"
I laughed without humour, "why not... if you were in this position would you be broadcasting it to the world?"
He was quiet and I scoffed, "Yeah that's what I thought." I threw back the liquid and went to put more whiskey into my glass when he put his hand on the bottle to stop me. His fingers were touching mine and I swallowed thickly before looking at him.
"You don't need to keep doing that, Rich. I'm worried about you... talk to me. Without a glass in your hand."
He took the bottle from me and I sighed down at the empty glass, "Eds-"
"You need to listen to me, okay? You're miserable. We can all tell-"
"I'm not miserable," I smiled but he raised an eyebrow.
"Even with the cocky grin and vagina jokes we can all tell you're unhappy. Please don't lie to me."
I looked away from him, "there's just a lot here that I've been reminded of... things that happened before and things that I've been forced to deal with now. And I don't want to deal with it. You know, you're the only person I really trust. Seriously, you are, and I had completely forgotten you existed before Mike called. If I go back now... I just won't have anyone... I'll be back to pretending to be this fake person and I won't have anyone..." I chewed my lip as I felt myself well up, "I'm really scared to go home."
I felt tears fall behind my glasses and quickly wiped them away, "shit, I'm sorry... I've had too much to drink. Ignore me."
He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me against him, then leaned his head on mine, "it's okay to be sad sometimes, Rich. Just don't try and deal with it on your own. I'm really worried about you."
"I'm worried about me too," I said quietly and ignored another tear as it fell onto Eddie's shirt.
