Clover Hawkings and the Triwizard Tournament

14. I Will If You Will

 The warmth surrounded me, kept me safe. I snuggled deeper into the nest of blankets. I could feel my senses slowly awakening- the faux fur against my body, the voice calling my name- oh wait.

"Cloooooooverrrrrrrrrrrr. Rise and shine, sleeping beauty."

I let out a strangled moan and forced myself to open my eyes. Alura squats down and tears a gash in my cocoon.

"Hey!"

I then realize I'm on the floor, tangled in blankets, and Alura is the only one in sight. Sunlight streams down on neatly made beds. So I guess I did sleep. Eventually.

"Clover, you've already slept in an extra hour and a half." Alura pokes me.

"Wha? Why?"

"Care of Magical creatures was first block today, and we got it off because Hagrid was having some...difficulties concerning our project on the Blast-Ended Skewts." Alura cracks a smile. "I had nothing to do with it, of course."

"When did you even....nevermind, I'm not going to ask."

"That's for the best."

I laughed. "Probably." My stomach gave a roar. "So, on a different note, did I miss breakfast...?"

"Yes, but we got you covered," Alura stood up and began to stack her books in her bag. "There's some pancakes waiting for you downstairs."

"Not for long!" Artemis's voice called.

"First years slept in and are hungry!" Scarlet's voice chimed.

"I'll leave you to get dressed," Alura stood up. "Also, the Triwizard champion jazz is happening today, so, um, look nice, I guess? That's what Artemis told me." She shrugged, grabbed her bag, stuck her wand behind her ear, and headed down the twisting staircase.

Shi-oot.

Shoot, I mean.

But this is bad. I had forgotten. The Triwizard champion was going to be chosen tonight. Would I pass them in the hallways? Would they get pumpkin juice for lunch? This would be Lasts for the champions- last time being normal, no whispers or cheers, last time without a dreaded task hanging over them. Would it be one of their Last Lasts, like what had happened to my father? Well. It wasn't like I had exactly known him. But I liked the idea of him, and if he hadn't died, things couldn't have been better.

Which reminded me of the dream. 

As soon as I thought about it, I couldn't stop, so, my resolve weakened, I let myself think. Immediately my mind was flooded- memories, emotion, questions- never answers.

Think about what you know, Clover, I told myself. I had seen my aunt and my mother and me, shortly before everything had changed. My mother was going somewhere, somewhere concerning the Dark Lord, most likely- somewhere she had put other people in danger to get to. Like me. And Dad. But she didn't want aunt Cass to come with her- presumably to protect Cass and by extension, me. She wanted me to live with aunt Cass. And then she died, killed by some faceless stranger.

But, assuming that she was going on Death Eater business, what would that have put my father, also a Death Eater, in danger? Why would that put me, a pureblood, daughter of Death Eaters, in danger? Why would aunt Cass volunteer to go with my mother, if it was on Death Eater business? Cass had always hated the fact that her sister was a Death Eater. Had either of them mentioned a name? I couldn't remember. 

There was only one thing I could deduct from this: wherever my mother was going on that fall day eight years ago, it was not for Voldemort.

But what else could be so urgent she had to leave her only daughter?

"CLOVER! Let's go!"

Snapping out of it, I sprang up and tugged my clothes on in record time. I crammed my books and essays in my bag, slipped on my shoes, hastily threw my blankets on the bed, and pelted down the stairs. Suppress your emotions. Suppress your emotions. We have to act normal today, Clover! I told myself, looking up at- what was that? My feet have no brake and suddenly I am flying into a warm body.

"Shit, Hawkings!" Artemis grabs the railing to keep herself up after I knock into her.

Oh no, oh no, what have I done now? Artemis is staring at me, panting, I've hurt her, scared her, I should say something- Sorry? Are you okay? Those would have been good options, but what I said was: "You swore."

"So I did."

Followed by "Shit." When I realized what I said.

Artemis smiled. "So did you."

"So I did." I bent down to help her pick up the books that were now scattered across the floor. "So, um, are you okay? I'm sorry. I wanted breakfast." The adrenaline was fading now, everything was fading at the sight of her.

Artemis grinned. "Perfectly acceptable. I'm fine."

"You should, um, be careful when you stand there, because you could get hurt." I said, shrugging at the floor.

Artemis arched a perfect eyebrow. She looked as if biting back a laugh. "You should be careful when you run down the stairs, you could get hurt."

"I will if you will," I said, handing her books back to her.

"Sounds like a deal," Artemis agreed.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Alura and Scarlet fist bump.

I could feel an odd desire to please her growing in my chest, followed by panic.

What was wrong with me?!?!

"Yeah, whatever," I said, quickly walking past them and out the common room. Then I stop and turned back- they were my friends, and I was just so rude to Artemis? And for what? I waited for them, staring at the ground to avoid the glares they were surely giving me.

"Um, sorry. I like our deal," I said, still looking down, and sped away.

Wait, but I had just walked away again? But I couldn't go back? Oh good grief. Being nice to people is hard. But I wasn't even being nice, just not being mean. Wait, did that mean I was mean before? Is that why I had no friends?

I think I am going through a crisis.

When I was tired of my thoughts circling and circling around each other, I decided I would walk just in front of Scarlet, Artemis, and Alura- a safe distance away, but in the event of a conversation, close enough to not be rude. I could feel their stares burning into my back- oh, who was I kidding? I was never part of their group! I speed up. Maybe I could get to class before them. I HATE EMOTIONS.

Something warm and soft slipped into my hand. Fluttery. Like a butterfly. But unmistakably a hand, and by the ba-BOOOM, ba-BOOM, thumping of my chest, it was Artemis's. I snuck a glance at her. She was staring ahead, happily lost in whatever world she went to when she held people's hands and climbed onto their hospital beds. Tentatively, I squeezed her hand. Are we good? Do we have a deal?

1, 2, 3, seconds pass.

Then, a rush of returning warm, or maybe that was just my insides melting to the floor in relief- a squeeze, sent from her brilliant mind and soft hands to me-

We're good.