playlist ; im changkyun

21

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Jiyeon's POV

I got back to reality and smiled at Shownu. Jooheon then smiled at me while waving cutely displaying his dimples. Ah, I wanna pinch those cheeks. He would always get mad, though. Kihyun smiled warmly makes me wanna hug him because I just missed being with him. Deep convos, heart-warming advices while watching the moon with two cups of hot chocolate on the table.

Shownu then receives a call from the manager asking them to go to the practice room right away. I nod and wave at them, bidding goodbye to each one of them. But when Minhyuk started to hug me out of a sudden, the whole Monsta X except for Changkyun squeezes me into a hug. I smile while patting their backs. I missed this.

After that, I snapped back to reality and is facing Changkyun to talk more about work stuffs this time. Changkyun eventually open his mouth, "Ji, do you wanna eat lunch with me? Our discussion ends on 2 p.m, right?"

I am mad about the fact that he is acting unprofessional. How can he ask me something like that when it is working time right now?

"Um, IM-ssi. I'm really sorry to point this out but I think you're being unprofessional. You're not supposed to call me like that, then ask something that is not allowed during work time. Is this how you work out stuff between girls?" I snap, furious thinking about those articles again.

He's annoyed, "Ji, for fucking sake. Can you please let it go already what happened before? It's been 3 years!"

"Changkyun, can those 3 years heal my wound? You left me for nearly 4 years, you even got into a relationship. And you know what? I sent food for you and the members and you didn't touch it even the slightest. I faced heartbreak alone. I lost both of my parents already, I went to graduation ceremony alone. Where are you when I needed you? Confessing to other girl with our song? With the song we made together? I bet leaving me was great for you, but it's not for me. I went through hell thinking about you every now and then. Now you know how I felt and faced, would you please let me go? I can't handle working with you. I'm signing off from this job. I'm so sorry." I said with tears rolling down my cheeks.

I can't contain my feelings. Last night, I cried for him and today, I said these to him. My life is great at this moment, very great.

I open the door to see the rest of the members in front of me. They were eavesdropping. Embarassed and sad, I leave the space as quickly as I can. I cannot face them like this. Not only Changkyun but the whole group know now. I'm embarassed that I still love him, waiting for him when he's now with other girl.

Missing him is the only thing I know. Everyday, checking him on social medias, watch his fancams. I am pathetic. Disgusted by myself, I drive to my house at a full speed. I throw my bag onto the bed and covered my face with a pillow. Looking up, it's a teddy bear.

The teddy bear is from Changkyun. Reminiscing those moments, my breath hitched. Why would I still cry over him even after 3 years? I wipe off my tears that were blurring out my eyes, then took out a notebook. From the song "from zero", to "sky moon" the song he used to confess to the girl.

I caressed the book by each page. Everytime I read the title, those moments will play in my head as if it got a play button. Everything seem so fresh and real.

-

"Hyung, I fucked up. This is not how I planned it to be." Changkyun already sat on the floor the moment you left. He didn't know you were hurting this bad. He thought you'd be happy meeting him again because he was so damn happy to know that you were the one who will be working with him. His fantasies crack just like that.

"Changkyun, shh. We can always work things out. Don't cry like this," Shownu and Wonho comforting him on the floor.

Kihyun just watch Changkyun's wrecked self from afar. He knew all of these would happen. As if he could predict the couple's future. He knew their bond is strong and they would meet again. But he also knew everything would be so messy.

Changkyun asks them to leave him alone for the day. The managers also decided to let him rest and give him a 2-day off from any work. They love him too much to see him like this. Jiyeon wasn't at fault, they know. It was fate's. They met again, but at the wrong time.

Not when the company decided to make up a scandal to satisfy the fans, and not when Jiyeon was just about to move on and forget him.