Things Do Get Better (HTTYD Modern AU)

One Step Forward

It's Hiccup again (if you couldn't tell by the change in handwriting). Anyway, I was adjusting back to school life pretty well. While I still got a mockery or two, there were few far in between, which was weird to me since I was so used to them. But I appreciated it. I was glad that the reaction to my accident and my return was not just a one off thing. It stuck with them. With my friends.

And while I didn't mind the wheelchair, it did made me feel restricted. I couldn't take Toothless out for a walk as much anymore and I couldn't go to places easily. But luckily, I only had to wait five months to finally be fitted with a prosthetic leg.

The foot is the same colour as my skin, but the place where it connects to my actual leg is of a brown colour. Weird, I know, but I chose that because honestly, I had no reason to hide the fact I lost a leg. I wanted people to know that I went through of all these and became stronger because of it.

Anyway, once I was fitted with a prosthetic leg, that was when I started to learn how to walk with it. When I first stood up with it, I immediately fell back down. I hadn't stood up for 5 months and it felt weird standing on my feet again. I knew it would take a while before I could fully walk, but I wasn't going to give up.

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Two months had passed, and I was still learning. I hadn't managed to walk across the room yet. In a way, it kind of frustrated me because I didn't want to be stuck in a wheelchair. I wanted to move around freely. But I kept going, hoping one day, I could walk across the room. And one day, I did.

It was in the afternoon and my dad and I were at the centre where I'd been practicing. Toothless couldn't come in, so he had to stay at an area for pets. We made our way to the room, where there weren't much there, but only two straight poles like barres.

"OK, Hiccup. Remember to take it slow, don't rush." my dad advised me.

"I know, dad. I got this." I assured him (or was I assuring myself?). He nodded before making his way to one end of the room while I stayed at the other, between the two poles. They were there to help me walk across.

I took a deep breath as I placed my hands on each end of the poles. It took a while to compose myself before I pushed myself off the wheelchair, now standing on my feet (well, one foot and one prosthetic foot).

After I adjusted myself, I started to slowly take one step. Then another. Then another. It wasn't easy as every step I took, the pain would irritate me, causing me to grunt every time. But then, as I reached the middle, the pain suddenly exploded through my leg, causing me to let go of the poles and fall onto my knees, screaming in pain.

"Hiccup!" my dad shouted. He started to run towards me, but I stopped him from doing that.

"No, dad! It's OK. I got this." I assured him.

"But..."

"I'm fine!" I wasn't convincing him since I was clearly in pain, but I wanted to do this. I had to. The thing is, this wasn't the first time this happened to me and every time, I gave up. Not this time though.

I took many heavy, deep breaths, trying to remove myself from the pain still invading my leg. Once I felt I did, I grabbed hold of the poles, brought my right leg up and after a few more deep breaths, lifted myself up and bringing my left leg on the ground. I almost fell back down, but I managed to still hold on and began to walk once again.

The pain didn't make things easier, but I ignored it, only focusing on the movement of my legs and the voice of my dad encouraging me. I was afraid of falling back down again because I knew if I did, I wouldn't get up again. I would give up for today, which would mean I had to wait even longer until I could walk again. But I kept my focus away from that thought, focusing instead on right then.

I was so focused; I didn't notice that I made it three quarters of the way.

"Come on, Hiccup! You're doing great!" my dad encouraged. I pushed myself further, removing my entire thoughts from the pain that remained. So much so, I started to pick up the pace, reaching further and further towards the end. My arms were shaking, my pain felt unbearable, but I kept going and going.

Finally, I reached the end of the poles, but because I was focused on my footing, I didn't notice. I lost my balance but thankfully, I was close enough to my dad to instead fall into his arms.

"Well done, son!" he bellowed with laughter, patting my back. When he pushed me up, I couldn't help but chuckle at his excitement. It was rare to see him with a genuine smile.

"Right, how about we try it one more time just to make sure, huh?" he suggested.

But I didn't answer. I was looking down at the floor, not saying a word.

"Hiccup? What's wrong?" he asked; his hands still on my shoulders. I could hear the worry in his voice. But I didn't answer him.

Then, I felt a tear falling down my face. My head was facing down, so my dad didn't see it. Then, I felt another tear. And another.

Then, I started to sob. I didn't know what came of me, but once I started, I couldn't stop. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I felt my dad slowly pull me towards him and without hesitation, I buried my head in his chest, now bawling my tears out.

I felt his hand stroking my back as I did. My cries erupted the whole room as my tears fell rapidly.

"It's OK, son." he said quietly. "You're doing good. I'm very proud of you."

"Thank you... dad." I said between my cries.

Thinking about it now, I guess the whole situation, the experience really took a toll on me. No 15 year old should ever experience getting into a freak accident, losing their leg, feeling weak and useless and going through the daunting task of learning to walk again.

It was so hard for me, but at the end of the day, I came through and I was finally able to walk across a room for the first time. And four months later, I didn't need a wheelchair anymore. And I never felt great about myself.

OK, that's a lie as you will find out later, but you can't blame me for feeling that way back then. Things were finally turning around for me, and it was only going to get better.