I spoke to Jess about what happened at the shops and she was really supportive. She could tell that it was stressing me out and so calmed me down. This 'relax session' consisted of a massage and a sit down in front of the TV. Ruby was sat on the floor in front of us, playing with her pretend plastic food set; which seemed to be amusing her. She was in a world of her own and was oblivious to the conversation that Jess and I were having.
Jess was snuggled into my side and was resting her head on my shoulder. That wasn't the only thing she was resting. Her eyes were closed and it was more of a one-sided conversation that we were having. Her work schedule was slowly getting busier and I think it scared Jess a bit. I could tell that being both a mother and having such a big job, like she does; was taking its toll.
Considering she had pampered me earlier, I let my hand wander into her hair, stroking it smoothly as she became drowsy.
''Jess... Jess, babe?'' I asked, as she murmured, not in the mood for replying. ''Jess you're obviously shattered. Let me take you upstairs.''
''Ok,'' she groaned.
I lifted her into my arms and she wrapped her arms around my neck, clearly exhausted. ''Ruby?'' I turned to face our daughter, as she tried to see how many plastic doughnuts she could fit on her little fingers. ''I'm just going to take mummy up to bed, I'll come back down and watch one episode of Bob the Builder, before we go to sleep. Yeah?''
''Ok,'' she stood up and elegantly skipped over to me, waving her hands trying to tell me to bend down. She kissed the sleeping Jess lightly on her forehead and whispered goodnight.
I cautiously walked upstairs, not wanting to wake Jess. I stripped back the covers and laid her on her side of the bed, before wrapping her up comfortably in our duvet. She was properly out of it as soon as her head hit the pillow and I found it adorable.
I swiftly made my way downstairs and scooped Ruby into my arms, surprising her. She screamed and giggled as I tickled her under her arms. ''Sshhh Rubes! Mummy's asleep. Let's watch some TV, yeah?''
''Yeah!'' She exclaimed. This little child would be the death of me, if not her mother.
We watched Bob the Builder for half an hour before I announced it was now bedtime. I was probably more tired than Ruby was, but I explained that it was her bedtime too. I picked her up and tossed her (gently, might I add) over my shoulder, so she was hanging upside down. I liked to do this with Jess a lot. She'd scream like a little girl and tap my bum, telling me to put her down. I never did, of course. Ruby just giggled wildly, her laugh was definitely one of the best sounds ever.
I encouraged her to be as quiet as a mouse as we cleaned our teeth, as I didn't want to wake Jess. Ruby was making this rather difficult, she was quite hyper tonight. Getting her to go to sleep was going to be fun. A little tantrum later, with the excuse of 'I'm not tired', she was in bed and dreaming sweetly. I hoped.
I hopped into bed next to Jess, wrapping my arm over her stomach and drawing patterns as I spent some time to myself, just thinking about how lucky I was. My front was pressed tightly against Jess, as close as I could get. She was warm, which made my body tingle. Out of the blue she spoke, which made me jump a little bit.
''You know I love you, don't you Scarlett?''
''Of course I do, why wouldn't I?'' I questioned her.
''I feel like I say it but without expressing that I mean it. Because I really do mean it.'' Well someone was suddenly awake.
''I know you mean it, Jess. Where did it suddenly come from?''
''After what you told me about the shops. I don't want you to feel worried or anything. Nothing can overpower the amount of love that I have for you. No-one, or anything. It just can't happen.'' She shook her head, to try and emphasise her point.
''I know, I won't let it either.'' I agreed with her statement.
''Promise me you won't let anybody tear us apart.''
''I promise. Of course I promise.'' I confirmed, nodding to myself.
''Good.''
''Get some sleep Jessica, you were tired an hour ago.'' I kissed the back of her neck, teasing her slightly.
''But I'm not now,'' she persisted.
''Nice try. I'm not having a moody girlfriend in the morning. Close your eyes and have sweet dreams.''
''Fine. I'll go to sleep.'' She gave in finally, turning herself around to face me.
''Good, goodnight beautiful.'' I closed my eyes, wriggling to get myself comfortable.
''On one condition.''
''Come again?'' One of my eyes opened and peeped at her, my eyebrows raised. I must have looked like a sight for sore eyes. Luckily, it was pitch black.
I should have known she wouldn't give in that easily, she's Jessica after all. The stubborn, know it all, that I'm totally and completely in love with. Why did she have to be so god damn lovable?
''You heard me.'' She smirked; it was dark and I couldn't see anything, but I knew she was smirking. I know her.
''What is that one condition?''
''Make me one more promise.'' She ordered, tangling her fingers into my hair, she knew I liked this. Bitch.
''Fine.'' I groaned, anything to get to sleep to be quite honest. Saying I was knackered would be an understatement.
''Promise me that you won't let them get to you. I can't lose you. Not to that person, not to them, Scarlett.''
''Stop panicking, I'm yours, Jess. I promise you.'' I could feel her smile against me. ''Now please get some sleep. You have a very busy day at work tomorrow. Album listening, meetings, interviews and recording videos.''
''Ugh, don't remind me.''
''My bad, you better sleep then, hadn't you?''
''I suppose so.''
''I know so.'' I chuckled, laughing at myself because I'm so very hilarious.
She exhaled, sighing. ''I love you, Scarlett.''
''I love you too, Jessica.''
I closed my eyes but I couldn't sleep. I intended to keep my promises to Jess. Yet I couldn't help but worry about them. They messed me up and I didn't want it to happen again. They messed me up more than once. Many times. Too many times. I couldn't let it happen again. I don't know how I survived the last time. It took every piece of strength both Jess and I had. They broke me and left the shattered pieces on the floor, not bothering to look where they had fallen. I'd hate them forever. I still do. No matter how much I just want to forget about them, I can't. They've fucked my life up already and they can't just leave me be. They're still in my head even though I vowed to myself to forget about them. They insist on doing it again.
No. I couldn't handle that. I couldn't go back to square one. Please, please don't make me. Is it a crime to be happy? It seems so.
A/N: Oh look, the happiness has seemed to fade. That's a shame. Brace yourself for the next chapter guys. I'm joking it's not that bad. It's just drama.
