Critique Book Club

Batch 2: Blacklist

Bago simulan ang pagbabasa, lawakan muna ang pag-iisip. Maaaring may mabasa kang hindi magugustuhan ng iyong mata't damdamin, sana ay huwag mo gaanong dibdibin. Ang lahat ng nakasulat ay batay lamang sa kaalaman at opinyon ng iyong kritiko, sana ay may matutunan ka mula rito.

-JL

•••

Book title: Blacklist
Author: paperdeity
Critique made by: Scriberscrub

∞

Title:

Blacklist

It was entitlted blacklist because of the black book, the people included inside are the 'blacklist' ones. Idk, sariling pagkakaintindi.

The title is good, very simple. I personally see nothing special about it and if I'll rate it to five. I'll give it a four.

∞Book Cover:

Tbh, I kinda don't like the cover. It just too simple and common for the genre. The story is action themed so it the cover should be a lot more catchy and kinda 'intimidating' kasi all I see sa cover nung story is a plan picture with a text plastered on top of it.

But cover is just an easy task. Maraming nag kalat na editor dito sa watty so I suggest you to look for a good graphic editor.

The cover is the face of your story so you should really work on that but keep it mind to choose a style depending on your taste.

∞Blurb/Prologue:

The prologue is nice and well written. I wasn't able to know who are the characters talking so it leaves me flustrated and clueless. The details are not complete so again, it left me clueless again.

If that is your aim for your reader then the prologue is very good. Neverthless, it you aim for the complete opposite then your prologue is not okay. So it's a win or loose situation.

∞Characterization:

First of all the character's names are so unique which is nice for your story's genre. Since they are some sorth of agents or whatever I think you should add codenames to your character. Based on the other action stories that I have read, most of them have codenames.

Nabigyang hustisiya ang mga characters so I'll give you an A+ for that.

∞Plot and Settings:

The theme of the story is cliché but the way it was written were not. The book thingy made the story uplifted then the other stories same as your theme.

As for the setting, I don't see any problem with that.

∞Narrations and Dialogue:

Your grammar and punctuations are correct tho I saw some some error sa 'nang' and 'ng' mo. There are times-- countable na napagbabaliktad mo.

And another thing, as a reader, your paragraphs are too long to be read. I mean, if sobrang mahaba ang paragraphs, nakakabagot basahin so I tend to skip long parts talaga kasi I always find myself bored if sobrang haba ng binabasa ko. I suggest you to cut it shorter, add some space, shorten it up and it'll be better... I think.

And then lastly is the double dialogue. Based on my observations from other stories, you're supposed to use the double dialogues or sandwich dialogue in just one character per paragraph.

ex. "So?" I shrugged. "As if I care," I added tapos ay inirapan ko ang taong kaharap ko.

∞My own opinion:

The story is well written and well plotted. I  think I will read it once or if the paragraphs are shorter because I personally hate long paragraphs, I can't stand long paragraphs. But all in all I recommend the story.