Critique Book Club

Batch 5: TUKLAW

Bago simulan ang pagbabasa, lawakan muna ang pag-iisip. Maaaring may mabasa kang hindi magugustuhan ng iyong mata't damdamin, sana ay huwag mo gaanong dibdibin. Ang lahat ng nakasulat ay batay lamang sa kaalaman at opinyon ng iyong kritiko, sana ay may matutunan ka mula rito.

-JL

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Book Title: TUKLAW
Author: DravenBlack
Critique made by: 1Dark2Shadow3

∞Title:

It was just a one word title but it pulls me in, making me curious what the story is about. Tuklaw—by definition is how a snake strike—and your story involved the said creatures. It made me think deeper why of all title, you think of tuklaw. If you'll use common sense, it would be because it's snake we are talking about. However, it is actually deeper and your description provides its definition. A rhetorical question upon who's murdering at the Antonio Del Pillar. Through the title we can say that it might be the snakes. There's so many theories and that made mr excited to read the content. Good Job!

∞Book Cover:

Another simple thing from you, my dear! You really love to be simple and it's what I like. It was a half man and a half snake. It made me think whether it's Lucas or not because he's human right? How could he transform to that creature? There's a lot of question. Honestly, your title and your bookcover quite fits. Good job!

∞Blurb and Prologue:

I love love love your prologue. It was short and was very enjoyable. You're good in playing with words, making me imagine vividly what's happening. To be honest, as I read over each lines, the hair on my neck keep standing up. And I tell you that it rarely happens so you must have put something good in your book that made me love it.

∞Characterization:

Your protagonist is likeable. His patience easily ran out and I could relate to him in some ways. He was kind, yes, but he has no patience such an unlikely combination. It made him more complex. Also, there is this Kamatayan. I was intrigued with him that I'm anticipating his scene. His appearance to the novel adds up another question to me. What is he's the bad guy? I mean, the one who's killing everyone in the story. But then again, we cannot ignore the title itself which means Lucas would certainly be involved with this. It might be that he's the good guys who'll save the place or the contrary. Again, there's a lot of theories and I love love how you made me ponder over it.

∞Plot and Setting:

Your plot is somehow a bit common. A massacre towards the place, and knowing who's the killer. But, your execution made it unique. I must commend you for writing a unique piece through a common plot. Meanwhile, in your setting, in the first chapter, you've not describe it and it made me feel like I'm walking to a scene with black and white color. It's affecting me, actually. Setting is an important aspect of a story and at the first chapter, I didn't even know where they are. It made me lost for a while. But you put me back on my seat when they arrived at the said place where murdering would take place.

∞Narrations and Dialogue:

Your point of view is third person, and it's okay. There's just a tendency that I'm becoming more focused to the voice of the narrator than the story itself. You must be careful not to overlap. You must let us focus to the character, not the narrator. Also, your transition sometimes makes me cringe. Make sure that it is connected at some point, it's confusing me sometimes. You know when something happened then you'll go to another scene abruptly and it wasn't good at all. There is also a tendency that you kept telling us what happened. Like when he was fired. It would have been good if you let us see how he loses control over his attitude so we can picture out what it's like if he's angry. Plus, you ought to be careful upon the changing of focus on your narration, especially in the chapter where Lucas was abducted. One moment you focus on him and then the other on the abductor. It was confusing. It's also connected to the transition thing. On the contrary, your dialogues are more than fine. It portrays the characteristics of your character and I love it.

∞Opinion as a reader:

Hands down. You're good in making my jaw drop. I haven't even noticed that I was done reading chapter five if I didn't see the Chapter six sign. That's a big hand to you. I'm actually quite picky when it comes to reading. I have such high standards especially that I've grown up reading books such as Harry Potter and the likes. Your book was enticing and I'd like to know more upon what'll happen next. Keep up the good work. Keep writing!