oneshots • s.g + c.b

waiting

part two to stand!!

colby waits. he's been waiting for months. he's sat on his couch or at his kitchen counter just waiting.

he forgets sometimes that sam isn't going to come back. sam was katrina's now and maybe that's how it should stay.

colby ruined his chance when his hand collided with sams cheek harshly months ago. it haunts colby's mind constantly.

a never ending nightmare when he's asleep and a never ending memory when he's awake.

the sound still echos in his mind if he sits still for too long in silence. he winces in empathic pain every time he remembers.

jake would swing around every day or two to make sure colby was doing okay. he'd cook dinner for him or order take out, rent him a movie - anything to help colby feel okay again.

jake doesn't realize colby will never be okay after this. he hurt the person he loved the most in this world and as long as the tweet from three months ago on their shared twitter stayed up, he'd continue to feel guilty.

sam and colby 2.0: taking a break, not sure how long. we love you guys, thank you for your continuing support :(

sam had tweeted it. colby took it as sams final response to him, the confirmation that everything they'd done together was over. everything they were going to do was ruined.

colby sighs, looking down at the outfit he'd been wearing for a week. he doesn't remember his last shower or his last video, he doesn't even remember the last time he let the sun bask his face.

he stands rigidly, lazily snatching his keys off the coffee table. maybe he could leave the destructive safety of his apartment for a minute or two.

colby unlocks his apartment, slowly taking a step into the hall and letting the door close behind him with a quiet bang.

he swallows harshly when he turns and makes eye contact with the person he thought he'd never be lucky enough to see again.

sam and colby stare at each other, tension building in the air like a wall.

".. i guess i didn't fight hard enough for you to stay." colby was the first to break the silence with his whisper.

"are you that desperate?" sam counter-asks, it wasn't meant to sound so harsh but the words came out like blades.

"for you? yes." colby admits, slowly reaching to his head to let his hood finally fall.

sam took this moment to fully breathe in what colby was. he was a mess.

colby's hair was matted and greasy, he could tell that from a mile away. his face was broke out in a few places along his jaw and left cheek and he could practically tell colby had been wearing the same outfit for god knows how long.

"you can't choose what stays and what fades away.." sam glances to the ground, the guilt he thought he had gotten over crashing over his shoulders like a wave.

"i knew.. that, um, one day i'd have to let you go.. it wouldn't always be me and you." colby leans back against his door, ready to rip the handle open once the conversation was finally over. "i don't.. i never deserved someone like you. and i proved that.. to both of us that night."

sam cringes, wiping his eyes quickly. his breath catches in his throat as his shoulders sag and he slowly looks back up from his shoes to colby. "god, colby.. we haven't talked in months-"

"and it should stay that way." colby quickly interjects, not wanting sam to suggest them becoming friends again.

he couldn't handle that. he couldn't handle seeing sam and not being able to cuddle against him on his couch while they watched some stupid film. not being able to kiss him.