Sweetest Taste of Life

Chapter 17

I've made up my decision after the days of being alone. I can't run because the truth is chasing me and I feel so guilty with what my parents did.

For others, this is called "OA" but nah! It's hard for me. Siguro sa ibang tao, papabayaan na lang nila dahil nakaraan na rin naman at wala silang magagawa. But for me, it's not that easy to forget. They ruined someone's life for me! It's somewhat called bullshit!

Before heading to school, I decided na dumaan muna kina Jared. It's been year since I went there. I really need to say sorry to his family.

I tried to calm myself ng makarating ako sa tapat ng bahay nila. I have this nervous feeling and it's shit.

I did knocked on their door. Katamtaman lang ang laki ng bahay nila. It is a 2 story house. The paint is cream that makes the house view clean and alive opposite to the family living here. Parang walang katao-tao.

I want to back out pero linakasan ko ang loob kong manatili at hintaying may lumabas. After minutes of waiting, may narinig na akong yapak ng tsinelas o sandals.

Bumukas ang pintuan at bumulagta sa akin ang isang babaeng kung tatansyahin ay nasa mid- 40's na. This is probably Jared's mom. I visited here twice a year ago but unfortunately, palaging wala ang parents ni Jared.

Magtatanong na sana ako ng biglang lumipad ang kanang kamay niya sa pisngi ko. It's hard and it hurts. This is my first time to get slapped. I hold my tears. Not this time Shanaya.

"I'm sorry darling but that's what you deserve. Mark my word, Aya! Wag na wag mo na kaming guguluhin ulit. Jared suffered too much at pati kaming pamilya niya. Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit minahal ka ng anak ko kung ganung klaseng tao pala ang mga magulang mo. Walang Hiya sila!" pagsisigaw niya sa akin. Nakayuko lang ako habang tinatanggap ang mga sinasabi niya. And then I looked at her with a teary eyes.

"I'm so sorry Tita. Ako na ang humihingi ng tawad sa ginawa nila sa inyo. I'm really serious saying sorry" pagpapaumanhin ko.

"I can't accept your sorry. You're just wasting your time Ms. Pasion. You can go now" she said with a painful voice.

Yumuko ulit ako at tumango.

"Pero tama lang ang ginawa nilang paghiwalayin kayo ng anak ko. Hindi ka na nadamay pa" she said at naglakad na palayo sa akin.

I am left with a question in my mind again. What exactly she's trying to say? May nangyari bang hindi ko alam?

Umalis akong bigo,may nanginginig na tuhod at mahapding pisngi. Tumungo ako sa BTS University.

Pagkababa ko pa lang sa sasakyan, I saw a man wearing his school uniform. He's very manly and his name is Sparsh. God! Can I do it? I feel like I can't.

Papalapit pa lang ako, tumakbo na siya palapit sa akin at agad akong yinakap. He miss me so much.

"I Miss You" he said while hugging me.

I didn't respond. Agad akong humiwalay sa kanya at ngumiti.  Sabay kaming pumasok sa loob ng university. At sa nakasanayan, inihatid niya ako harap ng room namin. Nagpaalam na siyang aalis pero bago pa man siya humakbang, nagsalita na ako.

"Let's Talk Later Sparsh" I finally said what's in my mind na kanina pa ayaw lumabas sa bibig ko.

Wala akong pinapansing tao even Sapphire. I really want to approach her. Kanina pa siya tingin ng tingin sa akin. Kaya hindi na ako nabigla ng kaladkarin nya ako palabas ng room namin.

"Wala ka ba talagang sasabihin sa akin?!" sigaw niya sa akin. Nakatikom lang ang bibig ko.

"Don't you know that I'm worried. I haven't received any reply from you. I went to your house but you're not there. Tell me what's going on Aya!" she's really worried about me. She cares for me a lot.

"Am I really a true friend to you?" she asked na parang masakit sa tainga ang pagkakasabi niya.

"You're my friend Sapiro. I'm sorry for not telling you what's going on. I just feel so disappointed and........hurt." my voice cracked.

I did tell her what happened after our grades came out. That I talked with Jared and he revealed the real reason why he broke up with me. Of what my parents did to him and to his family. Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin kinakausap ang pamilya ko. It feels like they admit what they did and they don't feel sorry about it. Shameless.

"What the fuck Aya! Fuck your parents! They are Bullshit! Are you okay? Lemme' hug you Aya" she cursed then she hugged me. It just made me feel weak.

"It's okay not to be okay. Reveal your true self under that smiling mask" at tinapat niya ang kamay niya sa mukha ko. Hindi ako nagsalita.

Humiwalay siya sa yakap at tumawa.
"Tangina, nakakadiring makiyakap sa babae" ngiti niya and acted like diring diri. I laughed at her.

"So what's your plan now? Jared is still in to you. Sparsh is waiting for you. And you're in between the battle of your heart and mind." she asked. I've finally made up my mind.

I told her what's my plan. At alam ko naman na magdi disagree siya sa akin.

"Come on. You can't just do that Aya. I thought you two are getting close and leveling up"

I explained to her further and clearly.

"If that is your decision, I'll respect it. But Aya, I know you'll regret. You'll surely regret" I just smiled at her. Ayokong maguluhan na ang isip ko. I said thanks to her at bumalik na kami sa room. We had our class. Pagpatak ng break, Tinext ko si Sparsh na sa rooftop na lang kami magkita.

Pumunta na ako doon at hinintay siyang dumating. Mabilis naman siyang dumating.

His eyes are smiling. His soft lips is smiling so wide. His shiny black hair is messy but it just give him more handsome look.

Bago pa siya makalapit sa akin, binukas ko na ang bibig ko at sinabi ang gusto kong sabihin.

"Stop Courting Me, Sparsh" I said painfully.

His smile faded. I took away the smile in his lips and eyes.

"Are you joking? It's making me feel nervous" he said ng may halong sakit.

"I'm not joking! I still love Jared and it's my decision. I told you if it doesn't work out, ako na mismo ang lalayo. It didn't work out Sparsh. He's still the one. I'm sorry" I lied. I'm really a liar.

He didn't respond. All I can see is pain in his eyes. I want to hug him and wanting to say it's just a joke but I'm serious.

"I like you but it isn't enough to fill the emptiness in my heart. You're not enough" I said at iniwan ko na siya doon seeing a tear escaped in his beautiful pair of chinky brown eyes. He expected too much that's why it hurts him too much.