The next days is still the same. Patuloy pa rin akong kinukulit ni Sparsh and it's making me fall deep pero hindi ko masabi sa kanya ang rason kung bakit ko siya pinapatigil. Ilang ulit ko ng sinabi sa kanyang tumigil siya pero hindi siya tumitigil. He wants to continue. Did he really fall hard for me?
Patuloy pa rin ang pagpapanggap namin ni Jared. Same routine. Everyday, he's giving me a bouquet of red roses. Hinahatid niya ako tapos sinusundo tuwing uwian. Bababa ako sa kung saan kami nagkikita at doon na ako nagpapasundo sa driver namin.
And in our house? Hindi ko pa rin kinakausap ang parents ko. They tried to approach me but I insist. It still hurts. It hurted my ego.
"May lakad ka ba sa Saturday?" Jared asked. We're on our way to school. Tuesday pa lang ngayon. I'm sure he want to have a date with me.
"Wala naman" I simply answered.
"Punta tayo sa mall?" sunod niyang sabi.
I think this is a good idea. Macoconvince ko na si Sparsh na tumigil.
"Okay. I'm free" Masaya ko namang sambit.
He smiled. Ngumiti na rin lang naman ako at tumingin sa labas. And suddenly Sparsh popped in my mind. Naaalala ko lang ang mga araw na pumupunta kami sa Lighthouse. I miss going out with him.
At last, nakarating na kami. Nagwave na ako kay Jared and thanking him.
Nasa harap naman si Sparsh na naghihintay. I made a blank expression in my face. Kunwari na hindi ako masaya.
"Goodmorning my Crying Lady" he greeted but he didn't smile. Parang napuyat ang mga mata niya.
Hindi ko siya sinagot instead I asked him. "Hindi ka pa ba pagod? Kasi ako, pagod na sa pagrereject sayo."
Tinitigan niya lang ako kaya umiwas ako ng tingin sa mga mata niya. Hindi ko kayang makipagtitigan sa kanya. It will just make me weak.
"I'm tired. Pagod na pagod na ako pero ayokong sumuko dahil may pinanghahawakan ako" he answered with a small voice.
Hindi ko na siya kinausap muli dahil nasasaktan rin naman ako. How ridiculous the situation is. Akala niya, siya lang ang nasasaktan.
Nauna na akong lumakad and to my surprise, hindi siya tumabi sa akin sa paglalakad. Nandun lang siya sa likod ko. Pinabayaan ko na lang kasi iyon naman ang nararapat diba?
"Shanaya, hindi na kita maihahatid sa room niyo. May aayusin ako na paperworks" sabi niya ng nasa hallway na kami.
Nasanay na ako na inihahatid niya ako sa room that's why I'm a little bit sad of how he act today. He's just making an excuse. He's tired of my words.
I just nodded and smiled at him. Tumalikod na siya at naglakad na rin ako palayo sa kanya.
Pumasok ako sa room ng may nakabusangot na mukha. I can't see Sapphire. Hindi ko alam kung papasok siya ngayon o hindi. I didn't received any message from her.
Wala si Sapphire kaya boring ang araw ko ngayon. May sasabihin pa sana ako sa kanya.
Break time, wala si Sparsh. Ano bang nangyayari ngayon? Wala akong kasama. Gusto ko ng umuwi tuloy. Mabuti na rin at wala kaming masyadong ginagawa ngayon so I decided na tumambay sa rooftop nung vacant namin. Maghanda si Sapiro sa akin! Hindi niya ako ininform.
When I went there, walang tao. It's cloudy again. Kaya nagpapasalamat ako kasi hindi mainit. Nagpatugtog ako ng song ni Jimin na Serendipity in English Version to take away my boredom.
Music is my stress reliever lalo na kung songs ng BTS ang pinapatugtog ko. I love their voice so much.
You are my blue mold saving me🎶
My angel, my world🎶
I'm your calico cat here to see you🎶
Love me now🎶
Touch me now🎶
Sumabay ako sa pagkanta dahil wala naman akong magawa. Ayokong mag-open ng kahit na anong account sa Social Media.
Just let me love you🎶
Just let me love you🎶
Since the creation of the universe🎶
Everything was destined 🎶
Just let me love you🎶
Parang ang lyrics ay bagay kay Sparsh begging me to love him. Begging me to reciprocate the love he have for me. I already love him but I can't tell him.
Let me love, let me love you🎶
Let me love, let me love you🎶
And that is the end of the song. Throughout the song, si Sparsh lang ang nasa isip ko.
Kung maging kami, iniisip ko na kapag malaman ng parents ko, pagbabantaan rin nila si Sparsh. Gagawin rin nila ang ginawa nila kay Jared. Sisirain nila ang buhay niya and I can't let that happen. I don't even want to experience a secret relationship. I want public relationship where I can shout that Sparsh Rayven Villanueva is my boyfriend. That's what I want. But he don't deserve to get hurt. He's kind exquisitely.
May narinig akong papalapit sa akin. I'm in the middle of this four sided rooftop. No other than the man I love right now, Sparsh.
Umupo siya 1 meter away without meeting my eyes. Is he going to quit? He's almost giving up just looking at his aura mainly his eyes.
"Sorry pala. Hindi kita nasabayan kaninang breaktime. Madami lang talaga akong ginagawa ngayon" he apologized pero ang mata niya'y nakatingin lang sa malayo.
I didn't respond. Kung pwede lang sanang sabihin na nagtatampo ako kasi parang ang cold niya sa akin, sinabi ko na.
"Shanaya, You love me, right? Just this once, please don't lie." he suddenly asked.
Hinawakan ko ang dibdib ko coz' I feel my chest tights.
"The truth is..... I never loved you" my voice is small but I know he heard it.
"I'm asking you again. Do you love me? Just tell me you love me Shanaya. If you don't, then I'll quit." he asked again. Ang boses niya'y may halong sakit.
He's in pain and I'm in pain.
Maaari bang hindi na lang sagutin ang tanong niya? Maaari bang umalis na lang? Pero hindi maaari.
"You heard it Sparsh. I never liked nor loved you." I answered back with a tear in my eyes.
Tumahimik ang buong lugar. His hard breathing and the blow of the wind is what I what I can only hear.
"Nagkamali pala ako kasi.... Kasi ang pinanghahawakan ko kung bakit hindi ako tumigil ay mahal mo din ako. Tangina lang na akala! It's making me feel shit! " he chuckled.
Hindi ako nagsasalita while he's cursing a lot. Ang dami niyang sinasabi pero okay lang to let out the pain.
"I guess It's time for me to quit. It's all over now" he painfully said. I guess this is the last day na kukulitin na niya ako.
Upon seeing his face full of sadness, nasasaktan ako kasi nasaktan ko siya. He don't deserve this.
" Kapag nagsimula na akong kalimutan ka, don't miss me. Tandaan mong hindi ako lumayo, you let me go" masakit niyang sabi bago siya tumayo.
"I'm sorry Sparsh. Are you mad?" I asked bago pa niya ako iwan doon.
"Don't say sorry. Hindi mo naman ako mahal o gusto diba? At hindi ako galit Shanaya, masakit lang dito. Iba ang galit sa sakit. " at tinuro niya ng paulit-ulit ang banda kung saan alam kong masakit talaga, his heart. At pagkatapos nun, umalis na siya at iniwan na ako.
Doon na ako umiyak kasi wala akong magawa. Again, nawala na naman ang taong nagpapasaya sa akin. Maybe it's my fate. It's my fate not to be happy in life.
YOU ARE READING
Sweetest Taste of Life
JugendliteraturShanaya Pasion. A lady who believes that life is unfair. A lady who fell inlove with her best friend's crush but playful destiny just made them apart. And in the middle of her chaos, there's someone who came in her life, Sparsh Rayven Villanueva. Bu...
