Sunshiny Things (Original)

Ch. 42 The Princess & The Monster

Freya

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

and I don't want to go home right now

And all I could taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

'Cause sooner or later it's over

I just don't want to miss you tonight

The words from the Goo Goo Dolls invade my mind as the captivating melody plays through my headphones. Tears already steaming down my flushed cheeks by the time the chorus comes along.

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am.

The lyrics of the old 90's rock song couldn't hold more truth behind them as I stare out at the city through the rain covered glass, sitting on the window seal with my fuzzy sloth designed throw blanket wrapped around my body. The city lights bellow become fuzzy orbs of light as tears begin to fill my eyes once more, causing sobs to escape from my lips as the event from just hours ago starts to replay. Well technically, the events from yesterday considering it's currently 2:00am.

My head was throbbing between the decisions I had to make and the feelings I didn't know how to express. The battle between my heart and my mind going on inside me won't seem to seise. And to be completely honest, I don't think it ever will.

But when he kissed me.

When I touched him.

My heart seemed to fight a little harder in the battle.

My phone dings next to me over my music, indicating that I received a text. I look down at the device next to me, seeing a text message from Becca on the screen.

Bec: Wnt b home 2nite.

I let out a deep sigh but also smile slightly. One, because she decides to finally text me at two in the freaking morning. And two, because her drunk texts always seem to make me laugh. I quickly respond back with a simple 'ok, be safe' like a mom would say to their child. Sometimes, I feel like I'm looking out for Becca more than she's looking out for me. But I guess we often switch roles.

Thunder sounds from outside my window as soon as the song ends and another one starts to play. The playlist I'm playing is one that I put together of songs that are from Coles preferred taste in music whenever I was trying to "broaden my choice in music". The song that plays is called Asleep by The Smiths. The words and the melody are almost a lullaby to me, feeding into my internal tiredness that I know has been there for awhile now.

My eye lids grow heavier and heavier as I rest the side of my head against the cold glass of the window and wrap the blanket around my body more firmly. And before I know it, I fall into a deep sleep.

~~~

Buzz

Buzz

My eye lids slowly flutter open as I feel a nagging vibration sound beneath me.

Buzz

Buzz

I groan as I reluctantly retrieve my phone form underneath my butt. The bright screen burns my eyes at the great contrast between the light and the dark. But suddenly, my eyes adjust quickly as they grow wide.