Sunshiny Things (Original)

Ch. 32 Broken Memories

Freya

I wrap my comforter around my body a little tighter as I stare at the pictures that I have displayed out on my bed before me. Pictures of my past. Pictures during the time when things were simpler...happier. When I wasn't broken. I look at the printed out selfie picture of Becca and I eating ice cream when I was thirteen. We it had it all over our smile plastered faces. And I almost laugh at how ridiculous I looked back then with braces.

My eyes scan over to the next photo, it's a picture of my dad and I that my mom took when we were out back working on a car that my dad was currently fixing. I had grease all over my face, and so did my dad. I remember I always loved helping him work on cars. It was our one bonding experience that we would always love to enjoy together.

The next picture is of me during my first ballet class. I was holding onto the bar connected to the mirror, wearing a light pink tutu as I attempted to do a croisé. I was seven then, and so nervous that I treated to jump out of the car so I wouldn't have to go on the way there.

Looking back at all these memories make me smile, but they also make me want to cry at the same time. Which apparently I go with the second option, because I cant help the tears that escape from my eyes and down my cheeks.

It isn't fair that they're not here with me. They should be here, celebrating with me. Making more memories much like these. But they're not, because they're gone. And I'll never see them again. Before I know it, I'm grabbing onto a family photo of all of us, ripping it's glossy exterior down the middle as rugged sobs escape from my mouth. The next thing I know, I'm onto the next photo, and then the next, and then the next. The ripping of the photographs sounding just like the ripping going on in my heart right now as it pounds in my ears.

Finally, I stop, bringing my hands up to my face as I cry hideously into them. My breathing is rapid and my sobs are loud. But they're uncontrollable, my emotions are uncontrollable. Just like always.  And at this moment in time...

I'd rather be dead.

Sobs continue to escape and I feel my entire body start to grow shaky from my heavy breaths but also from something else. I finally feel the pair of hands placed on my shoulders, shaking me to try and make me come back to reality.

    "Freya, Freya!" I start to hear the person call out rapidly. They remove my hands from my face, revealing my mess of an appearance to them. I blink my eyes a couple times, trying to clear my blurry vision. And once I do, I make out the figure before me.

Cole.

Cole is leaning down in front of me, holding my teared face in his hands as he looks at me with blue, worried eyes.

    "Co—Cole?" I mange to squeak out, my breath still slightly rigid. I feel as Cole softly wipes my cheeks and moves the hair out of my face that has stuck to my cheeks due to the wetness of them.

    "Yeah, yeah it's me," he gently says. It takes me a moment to realize what's happening, as I stare deep into his blue eyes, causing me to get lost again. My chest moves up and down, as I try to gain my breath and regain focus. But then I realize what's really going on, and I instantly snap back into action. I grab Coles wrists, removing his hands from my face and quickly shoot up from my bed.

    "Wha—what are you doing here?" I stutter as I ask Cole.

~

Cole

I knock on the door, after hesitating for about five minutes. I know I shouldn't be here. I know I'm probably the last person she wants around right now. But I couldn't help myself. The plastic bag in my hand that's carrying mint chocolate chip ice cream crumbles as I nervously play with the strap in my palm. I know it's not a birthday cake. But it's the best thing I could think of on such short notice. Shit. I probably seem so fucking stupid right now.