My Bad Boy Werewolf Quadrillionaire Space Lord

Atlantis Ascends

Holy crap this moment was tense. Luca and Alcuard facing off, each of them in possession of planet-ending power, and both of them insisting that it was their way or nothing.

Typical alpha male bullshit.

I mean yes, being able to reflect on it in hindsight, Alcuard probably has severe PTSD about murdering his entire civilization, then waking up and having to do it again. And Luca's weirdly principled for a billionaire playboy. So in some ways, this fight had to happen.

But seriously, alpha male bullshit. Nonsense like this is why women should run the world.

Though, in Luca or Alcuard's position, I might have just shot first and been done with it.

Thankfully Alcuard backed down like he actually possessed the wisdom of a six thousand year old immortal. And immediately ruined that impression by giving the unobtanium to Luca.

"You may not be," Alcuard said with that elegant, slightly Transylvanian accent of his. "But you've proven that I am not."

"So," I said as condescendingly as I could. Now was probably a great time to let these two fools know how silly they were being. "Are you two going to kiss and make up now? Or kiss and make out? I'm good with either."

Alcuard and Luca looked at each other and then back at me. "Well, at least she knows her priorities and sticks with them," Alcuard said condescendingly.

"Engine thrust and abs," Luca added.

"That wasn't..." I sputtered, but decided to leave it rather than defend myself rationally. Reasonable arguments would have fallen on a pair of deaf ears. "Okay then, what do we do about keeping this ultimate power out of the hands of morons like Fabulo? Because if we were going to stand and fight, y'all should've just let me nuke their ship while we were in orbit."

"What did I just say about the nuclear option, Ripley?" Luca asked. "The best thing to do is see if we can use this infinity stone, I mean unobtanium, to dig us out from underground. Once we do, we can remove the stone safely and portal out."

"Then, by your will, Atlantis will return to the skies!" the computer announced triumphantly.

"Uh, what now?" Luca asked.

The ground began to shake. The rumble felt like the rattle of a malfunctioning fusion drive about to blow up a ship. I was frightened enough that I clung to Luca's arm, unfortunately slowing him down as he reached for the controls.

"Computer!" Alcuard bellowed imperiously. "Explain yourself!"

"I am executing the will of my master! Atlantis will return to its gloried perch above the world!" the AI exclaimed happily.

"But your Master didn't give you an order. Atlantis isn't mine," Luca said.

"You were given control, and instructed me to take us out of the dirt and return us to the heavens!" the creepy AI shouted in giddy joy.

"I didn't order any of that," Luca noted.

"Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I'm being right now!" the ship teased. "And if I stop now the city will fall about half a kilometre."

"We're already in the fucking sky?" I exclaimed. "Holy burning hell, what about my ship?"

"Your stupid penis-shaped rocket with over-sized engines is just fine. Your landing site was very close to the street, and the ship will remain undamaged as I brush the dirt off the city," the computer said indignantly.

"I'm billing you for the hole in my planet," Luca said to Alcuard.

"You're the one who decided to grow the Shire atop my city," Alcuard said.