My Bad Boy Werewolf Quadrillionaire Space Lord

Squaring Off

"Wait," Isabella said, just as Lanval slung the rifle over his shoulder and smiled the unmistakable smile of a man who knew he never had to think about money again.

Isabella pointed at BIRD, then at the glittery remains of Jacoby Edwardo. "You planned that? You really had all of this under control, the whole time?"

"He did," BIRD admitted. "I was clear with Fabulo and the others that they couldn't murder Luca, but the nuances of contract law don't really stick in his head. Lanval's company, 'Peace of Mind', is a registered Private Military Contractor, which means they have to abide by the international regulations for mercenaries. And you'd be a damned fool to believe that Luca didn't have a hand in writing those laws."

"It's a pretty narrow clause," Luca said, to spare BIRD the need to talk through its metaphysical despair. "But the gist of it is that if any company is ordered to kill me, or my employees, I have to be afforded the opportunity to outbid them. And since I'm the richest person alive by such a disgusting margin that it takes two hundred and one billionaires to exceed my net worth, there's no way I can be outbid."

"Soldiers, we get to give up this farce and retire," Lanval said. "Oh, and we're going to buy the bar we're drinking at tonight, just to see how it feels."

"But you said that all 201 vampires are richer than you are," Isabella said.

"True, but they lost one. Jacoby Edwardo was the fourth richest member of their dumbass brotherhood, made a fortune on Twilight revival circuits. It made Fabulo angry enough to murder me, rather than pack us on a shuttle and send us on an eight-month journey back to Earth," Luca explained. "BIRD knew all of this, of course, but you broke its little mind at exactly the right moment. Nice job there, by the way."

"Adama, what the hell is this? You can't double-cross me!" Fabulo raged, bellowing in the operating voice of a boy in the middle of puberty, and petulantly stomping his foot.

"Pretty sure I can, you preening pouffe," Lanval replied casually, making a show of inspecting his ornately designed grenade launcher.

"It's in the laws! You do this, and every other private military in the solar system will hunt you down!" Fabulo cried out.

"No, they won't. Because you didn't read the fine print," Lanval said happily. He turned back to Luca and continued. "So, double the contract value, and you buy out the company and dissolve it? With a performance bonus for every member currently in the field?"

"That is the contractual value. I take it this won't bankrupt me?"

"It would bankrupt any of them." Lanval used the grenade launcher to point back to the crowd of billionaires.

"Guess I have to wait a year to buy that new yacht," Luca mused.

"I do feel a bit of guilt when you say that. But only because millions of kids have played in that absurd Quiddich pitch of yours. But you gotta look out for you and yours. Care to portal us out of here?"

Luca drew how his portal device and pointed to some empty space nearby. With a whoosh, a black sphere winked into existence. The mercenaries moved with giddy enthusiasm as they gathered up their equipment and walked through the portal. In barely half a minute, Lanval was the only one left.

"I'd stay and help, pro-bono, but I'm not allowed to," Lanval said.

"I know. It's by design, I wasn't allowed to buy out the company and then turn them on the former employer. It's the only way the UN let me put that clause in," Luca said. "Enjoy your retirement."

"Oh, your dad asked me to give you this," Lanval said, and he reached into one of his pockets, and pulled out a small pouch tied off with a drawstring.