Billie Girl

Chapter Forty Three

When Connie arrived at around seven PM the next night, the staff signed me out so fast that it made me think that Pine Rest really didn't want to take responsibility for me any further.

As I was signing out the strange boy came up to me. He said, "They don't keep any of us here very long. They don't give a shit about us getting better. They keep us here for as long as the government insurance can cover it, and not a second longer. It's all about getting us hooked on prescription drugs. Psychotropic drugs are a billion dollar industry, and you have just joined the club. That's why they call us the RX generation."

He looked so sad, this boy who clearly lived in fear at all times. So I said, "Listen, I don't know your name. But I want to wish you a happy life, OK?"

I think that I caught him off guard when I said that. But he gave me no answer. He just took a deep breath and looked away.

Connie was an overweight woman in her fifties. Her husband was quite tall and would have looked taller if his posture had been better. He just had a few strands of hair over his scalp. He had a content smile, which was strange, but made me feel a bit better anyway.

We drove back to my house. There were orange cones blocking the driveway, and a police squad car was parked in front.

"It's OK," Frank said to the cop who was doing some paperwork. "We are family."

It was so strange to walk into the house. In the living room there was still a faint stain of blood by the couch. It looked like a red shadow. When Connie saw it, she took hold of me and said, "If you want to, we can go. Frank can pack your things."

"No, I am OK. I can take it. I want to be here."

"OK Billie, go to your room and pack some of your things, and then we can go."

"When is our flight back to New York?"

"It is not till tomorrow. We have hired a moving company to take everything and put it in storage."

"I have a better idea. Why don't you both move here? We can all live together here."

"That won't be possible," Frank said. "We own our apartment in New York. This house will have to be sold. And your things will be shipped over."

"But I have friends here. I need to see them."

"Did you say goodbye to your boyfriend yet?" Connie asked. She was always taking my hand into her cold hand when she addressed me.

"That's the thing, I have not been able to reach him. They say he left town, and he doesn't answer the phone. I want to wait until he comes back. I need to talk to him. I can't leave before I do."

"Listen, we totally understand that you are upset, Billie," Frank said. He was smiling like he always did. "But there are a lot of things to get in order with your mother and your sister gone. You are just going to have to be patient while we take care of the details."

"Mom would not want us to leave this house. She would want you both to move here."

"We don't know what your mother would have wanted. Right now we are the adults, and we are going to have to make the decision and you are going to have to trust us."

Then the tears came. I so needed to talk to my mother. I needed to tell her that something was up with Blake. She would know what was wrong with him. She was so intuitive about other people. I would always bounce things off of her. I ran upstairs to her room, and I threw myself on her unmade bed. She had the biggest most comfortable kingsized bed in the world. I rolled in the luxurious bed and called out to her with all my might. "Mom! Mom! Mom, I need you. Mom, please come back!"