Finding You

Chapter 7

That Sunday afternoon, Bella was set to fly back to California. She and I carried on as if everything was normal the morning after the performance. We put her bags in the boot of my car before we went out for breakfast, spent a few hours at the mall and drove straight to the airport from there. None of us dared to speak a word about the conversation that she and I had last night. It broke me then, and it'll break me again. She knows that.

Bella didn't sleep in my room on Saturday night. I locked my door so she wouldn't be able to come in after I took a shower. I had an unnerving feeling that the nightmare would come, which it duly did and I couldn't bear to be next to Bella when it happened. I couldn't allow her to see how broken I still was from that day. Whether she actually heard the nightmares or not, I will never know, because she never confronted me about it.

James and I haven't spoken since last night as well. Not a single word. He hasn't texted me to apologize for being rude and I won't apologize first. I have nothing to apologize for.

"I'm gonna miss you so much," I tell her, pulling her into my arms as I rub her back.

"I'm gonna miss you too," she says, resting her chin on my shoulder.

"Listen, you're gonna come visit again soon, okay? We can find a way to sneak you out or maybe I can bring all of you here but I'm not waiting another year. Agreed?"

"Hell yeah!" Bella smiles and I chuckle, pulling out of the embrace.

"You should probably go," I tell her, giving her the bag I was holding for her, struggling to keep my emotions in check.

Bella gives me a kiss on the cheek and hugs me once more before turning around towards the boarding gates. As I watch her, she turns around and stares at me.

"What's wrong? Did you forget something?" I ask, confused.

"I meant what I said yesterday. About you opening up to other people, moving on... finding someone else," she says, staring intensely at me.

"I know," I say, but it comes out as more of a whisper. My tears are threatening to escape but I blink them away.

"Remember it. I refuse to believe that you want to remain lonely forever," she smiles at me.

"I'll see you soon, Bell," I say, my lips pulling up at the corners.

"Bye, Ally."

...

When I get back into my car, I cry. No, I don't cry. I sob. I weep. I didn't realize I missed my sister that much. It was fucking terrible watching her leave again. I should've made her stay a couple extra nights maybe, even if I had to tell Angie and John that she left myself, having to face their wrath. Too late now though. She's gone again. I'm all alone again.

Once I'm done with my breakdown, I stop at Walmart for groceries before I head home. I don't have any food left because I haven't had time to go out and buy, and I've been mostly ordering or eating out, so I haven't needed to cook anything these past few days.

I left my phone at home. I didn't think I would need it since I was only going to the airport and back but now all I want to do is phone Liv and ask her if she wants to do anything while I'm still out of the house. Nothing's going my way today clearly.

"Ally!" someone calls out for me from down the aisle. As I turn around, I immediately recognize the goofy smile and the ocean eyes.

"Hey Smith," I stop my hunt for Doritos and walk over to him. He immediately pulls me in for a tight embrace.

"How are you doing, AC?" he grins widely and it's so contagious. I can't help but smile back.

"AC?" I say, confused.