Finding You

Chapter 9

"I can't find a single thing appealing about flinging a few paint drops across a canvas. This thing doesn't make sense," Liv says while looking at Jackson Pollock's Number 1 painting.

"It's abstract expressionism, Liv. It's not always supposed to make sense," I stare intently at the painting. What a true work of art. It's so chaotic yet so simplistic at the same time. The meaning doesn't have to be evident to anyone else except for Jackson himself.

"Are you trying to sound fancy around me because your mom taught you all of this shit when you were a kid?" Liv looks at me with an amused smile to let me know that she was joking.

I chuckle. "Definitely. You may as well call me Van Gogh, to be honest," I run my hands through my hair dramatically and Liv rolls her eyes.

"My mom would've loved MoMA," I ponder aloud as I look down at my yellow Vans, trying to distract myself from the wave of sadness that's suddenly washed over.

Liv stares at me with a sympathetic smile, her eyes soft. "Come on, we've been here long enough. Let's go eat," Liv wraps her hand around my wrist and forcibly drags toward the elevator.

"We've only been here for an hour and we still have a whole 4 floors to see!" I grunt as she pushes the button for ground floor.

"Well, we can have another 2 girls days and spend two hours here each day. That's the limit that my mind can explore the emotional depth of paintings for in a day," she closes her eyes and rubs her temples as the door opens. She grabs my wrist again, stopping to say goodbye to the receptionist in the front before letting go of my wrist once we make it outside.

"You're so lame," I scoff with a smirk.

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that because my stomach could collapse from hunger right now and I'm more worried about food in my stomach than your empty insults," she counters with a smile, to which I flip her off. "There's that pizza place on 55th Street, just 2 blocks down. Should we just walk?"

"Sure," I shrug.

Liv and I's girls day was long overdue. I'd been so absorbed by the newfound friendships that I had made that I hadn't taken into account that they would be stealing time away from one of my favourite people in the world. I came up with the idea to go sightseeing because of my shocking realization that I knew almost nothing about the city I've been living in for a good 3 years now.

"So, how was your performance?" Liv asks me once we're seated in the small restaurant.

"It was good. I was so nervous, it felt like I could've puked," I shake my head at the memory.

"I can only imagine. But was it everything you had imagined to be back up there, doing what you love again?"

"It was. I think it was more liberating than anything else. Dance was always a career path I had thought about but to outside people zeroing I'm on my life, I always imagined Medicine being my passion: the need to help others, the need to see how happy the family was when you could tell them that their daughter would be okay. Maybe it still is a passion, but this is what I want to do. I'm not spending a second more away from dancing anymore. It just feels right again, you know?"

"Yeah," she smiles, reaching over the table to touch my hand, "I'm so proud of you, I really am."

"Thanks, Liv," my chest tightens and I take a steadying breath to calm myself before the water works begin. 

"Let's order, yeah?" She quickly flags down a waiter and has him take down our orders. I get a medium Margherita pizza, and Liv orders a large pepperoni pizza, along with two glasses of red wine. The waiter brings our drinks and food together shortly afterwards.