KOI FISH ROMANCE IN IOWA //🐟 A NOVEL 🐟// BY: MR. OMAR KING

18

Parked outside the sanitarium, I hold my purse tightly and walk directly towards the glass door where it leads me to the salmon pink waiting room. I go to the front desk and sign my name in cursive on a piece of paper that says visitors. "May I see your ID, please?" Smiled a pudgy middle age receptionist asking to confirm my identity: she must be new. I pull my ID out and confirm myself as that lady in that picture: Marjorie Catherine Baker. But I rather be called Marge or Margie... I think it seems appropriate enough... even for my friends and family whom sent letters to me on emails and such.
"Thank you" Says the lady as she checks my identity in a flash and then hands my ID back to me.. she places a name tag on my chest that says my name on it and then guides me back to the waiting area as if she knows her way around this joint: yeah, she must be new. There is always somebody new at the front desk.. somebody to replace to fill in the blanks of the missing pieces... everybody is replaceable. I grab myself a seat and sit down like a train puddle whom is ready for anything, even serve. I sit there and watch the mermaid on the television up on the wall... the screen is awfully short to see what Ariel is doing. Robin enjoyed watching those Disney movies when she was a little kid, sitting on the carpet floor in the middle of the living room, her eyes glued to the television watching those Disney princess and woodland creatures have an adventure: what thrill. I wonder what she will feel this morning: Happy? Sad? Angry? Annoyed? Afraid? Disgusted? Hyperactive? What would she say when she says me? It's been a good while that I've seen her, well... we've seen her. I wonder? Seeing her again is a reminder of my youth... the early stages of motherhood... becoming a woman/mother.

"Mrs. Baker! It's so nice to see you this morning, how are you?" He (the therapist) shook my hand. "I'm doing alright, Doctor. A little excited and anxious to see Robin, a little bit of nervousness to add in the equation. Yes, nervous. It's been awhile that I have seen her. I hope she's all right?"

"Ohh, Mrs. Baker. Robin is just fine... she's doing all right... she is in a relaxed mood at the moment..." Replied the Therapist.

Good. I'm glad that she's in a relaxed mood this morning... I just can't bear to see her in one of her outrageous moods. Running wild like a mad dog... making a disastrous mess everywhere and then have to make the poor orderlies and nurses to clean it up afterwards.

"Can I see her now, Doctor. I'd like to see my baby girl... please."

"Of course... of course. I can't see why not. Come. Come with me. I will take you to Robin." Replied the therapist. He gently grabs my hand and guide to Robin's room. She's in room.... relaxing. The therapist unlocks her door and then opens it altogether, Robin's there... sitting on the floor alone. I smile and rush towards her to give her a hug. I smother her and kiss her cheeks and forehead and head. I'm with my baby girl again. "Robin, I'm here now. Momma is here. My pretty girl." I kiss her head once more, she didn't react or do anything. She was spaced out. Her eyes were blank: nothing there. Those drugs really did it's work, my Robin is not there at all. Should I have been happy to see her like this? I don't know? She seem so at peace.... I was at peace. She has been so loud and destructive, I don't know what why Peace is anymore. The therapist leaves me alone with Robin.

...

I sit on the floor with Robin... she is playing with her Barbie dolls and legos... her slightly short brown hair is masking her pretty (slightly wrinkled) face.... I sit there and watch. She seems so peaceful and comfortable... tuned with her toys. I sit and watch... that's all I could do. Although I could talk to her... tell her about everything... what's been going on around the house and how her Daddy is been up to: life... stuff. I don't think so. No. She wouldn't understand what I'm talking about. No? Yeah... maybe not. When ever I see her face she reminds of my youth as young mother started a new life with her boyfriend: husband soon to be. Charles was quite a looker when he was young: and still is in our own way. A gentle man... a stud who treated me right... took care of me and the children during dark times of horror and sadness and the times that were beautiful and worth while... he's my forever partner. I don't know what I'd do without him: go mad like Robin. Oh no. No no no no no no, I wouldn't dare. Would I? I couldn't live on with myself... I couldn't go on without my Charlie or my children. What would my life be?