Jam/Jaylex (Tim's Pov, seeing the other two.)
The looks he gives me, send shivers down my spine. With each passing, I want to be nearer. Yet, that's the thing with love, it makes us lost in its trance. It makes us so focused on that one person, that we don't think of the outcomes.
That's what I always think about, the "what if's", the toxic parts. My mind sure does love those, more then the positive ones. Maybe I feel safer in the dark parts of my mind, then the bright and happy ones. Cause, the bright ones are just someone I used to be. Someone that has been tucked away for years, never to see the surface again.
I don't know what to think about the word love anymore. Like, I hate it because of the past behind it. Yet, the person I see everyday wants me to change my opinion on it. The thing is, I know that I will never have a chance.
Somebody that is as broken as me, will never win the heart of somebody like them. That's why I made a quote recently, cause they told me what they went by. Mine is, "nobody will love somebody that is broken, because they don't want to spend time fixing them". I now live by those words, cause they speak truth to me.
It reminds me of recently, how I've been spilling my past to him. How things that I've kept locked up for years, suddenly are just being released without him even asking. It scares me of what he can do, yet I want to see what else happens.
That's the thing I hate most about things like this. It starts off with small little things, then the whole package. Then, they will betray you for no reason, cause that's the thing that people love to do these days.
Also, I see him happy with someone else in the corner of my eyes. I thought they where friends, yet looks like my thoughts were wrong. So, I'll suffer to see him happy, and not having to deal with someone like my pathetic self everyday.
As long as he is happy, whenever I die. I will know that I died, with him happy.
