Watford's Secret Songwriters - Snowbaz

First Songs Finished

Simon

We wordlessly leave the clearing after maybe an hour. He's avoiding me on the walk back. The bloody hell was that? Never would I have imagined that Baz would ever, what seemed like, comfort me after I went off. He didn't even say any words to me the entire time we were out here. He just strolls into the clearing I made and sits down. But, why? He's going to immediately go back to tormenting me after this.

It's about midday by the time we get back. I think we both missed our morning classes, not like I'm passing them anyways. I head to Mummer's House and decide to finish my song. I probably won't go to classes today. Or lunch.

I have the room to myself for awhile, I imagine. Baz wouldn't want to miss any of his classes, or interact with me after what just happened in the Wood. I take out my journal and begin to write the next lyrics.

I thought you were perfect,
Always gonna be terrific.
But our magic just didn't mix,
And it shows when we kiss.

Once, that's how many times.
I didn't try again, I couldn't take it.
Then, I saw, who I hadn't really before,
The Earth, he was right there.

I don't know how to continue it. I'll probably put the chorus again and then finish it. But one word keeps on repeating in my mind, like a broken record waiting to be turned off. He. I already have been thinking about Baz, and the thought of 'gay' had crossed my mind. But writing it down is like making it real. As though now it's a real tangible thing I can grasp, hold on to, and pull it to me. Hold it, wrap it in my arms, feel it's cold lips on mine- Stop, Simon.

I sigh, knowing that continuing my thinking is just going to get me going. How, is it going to get me going? I don't want to think about it. I look back down at the journal. Chorus, it is. Then finishing verse.

I thought you were perfect,
Always gonna be terrific.
But our magic just didn't mix,
And it shows when we kiss.

The Earth was always here,
Is he somewhat queer?
I guess I'll go down like this,
In a terrible blaze, and maybe a kiss.

Kiss. I've only kissed Agatha once, I don't think I ever really wanted to kiss her. I felt like it was expected of me because I was her boyfriend. And now what am I doing? Thinking about kissing, but not her, not even another girl. A boy. Baz, of all people. Maybe this is why it never felt right with her. Because it wasn't. Not for me. I have no idea how I'm going to break it to her. Maybe she'll agree that we never worked, I really hope she does cause I don't I can handle seeing her heartbroken and me not really feeling anything about it.

I guess I have my first song completed now. If Baz reads this he'll most definitely realize I think. I can't get Baz out of my head, especially after what happened after I went off. I just wish he'd talk to me.

Baz

Crowley, what the bloody hell was I thinking doing that?! Snow and I are leaving the woods silently, and I'm so glad that he is not saying anything, because I have no idea what I'd say if he did. Why did I do that? Probably because I'm weak, and a constant disappointment to myself. For once we didn't fight. At least it was nice for that moment.

Snow goes off to Mummer's House and I'm relieved to see that he's not going to his classes. We would have the same one right now. He might not even go to his classes for the whole rest of the day. I wouldn't be surprised. I can't focus in class. I've definitely fallen too deep.

In the dining hall Bunce sits with Agatha but Simon isn't with them. To be expected. Dev and Niall are talking about something I can't really spare any attention for, there's only one thing consuming my thoughts right now. Why didn't he move away?