A Little Good Influence | Max Thunderman x Reader

Chapter 35

Your knees were buckling as you walked up, hands shaking as you rasied them to the button, feeling it tremble beneath your fingertips.

Taking a deep breath, you pushed it, hearing it open and feeling a gust of cool air hit you.

Staring at the entrance, you felt like going home, curling up beneath the covers and never leaving. You didn't want to take the first step.

'You came all this way, (Y/N), just do it, just go in.'

Your hands clenched at your sides, 'You can do it, you can do it. Just take the plunge.'

You took a step forward, you took the plunge.

"Uff!!—"

"Now that I think about it, this wasn't such a good idea."

"(Y/N)?"

"Hey..."

"Why didn't you just use the door?"

"I-um-forgot." You whispered before shivering, the slide was cold against your bare legs and the room was blasting the air conditioner.

Max quickly pulled the duvet over your body and you sighed, feeling his warmth.

"Hi.." You muttered, your hands fidgeting and you finally curled them to your chest. Biting your already abused lip, you shakily met his concerned eyes that were watching you in the dark, "I'm sorry for...um..avoiding you and um...not talking to you and....um...for taking the slide and falling on you right then."

He chuckled at you before shifting to sit more comfortably. You did the same, your hands sneaking underneath the pillow.

"I forgive you."

You sent him a small smile, looking away awkwardly when you realized that you had nothing more to say.

"Are you doing alright?"

You let out a shaky sigh, "N-Not really, I've been feeling really depressed, you know."

"I know, it must've been hard." He whispered, not wanting to destrupt the silence, before setting a hand on your arm. You flinched but then relaxed, feeling the warmth from his hand to your skin.

"It is. Difficult, I mean." 

His fingertips grazed your underneath the pillow and your mind went blank. You felt something grow in your chest. A feeling that you couldn't describe but it was something you haven't felt in a while. A feeling that you haven't felt since you the last time you were laying in bed with Max.

"You know, for a while I was in a lot of pain that I didn't even want to leave my bed but now it doesn't feel as bad as it did."

You chuckled at yourself, "I was running away from people for so long, I guess I didn't realize that this is what I needed."

"Maybe you just needed to talk."

"Maybe I did."

His fingers grazed against yours again and you felt yourself returning his lopsided grin, "So, talk."

"Well, you know how your mom and dad have each other, and Phoebe has Cherry, and Billy had Nora. That one person that is just, for you." Max nodded at this, "Well, I never had that with anyone, cuz I didn't have parents and when I was younger there were no other orphans my age."

His brows furrowed, "What about Phoebe?"

"I mean, I love Phoebe but she always had Cherry, the both of them are closer than we ever were, they have so many inside jokes and things they can relate to. And they have sleepovers but I'm not allowed to spend a night away from the orphanage and I can't call people over so, I just always felt left out I guess.

"I just, I always wanted that person, that one person that was just for me, that person that would just be first for me and for who I'd always be first. I thought that would be Adam. We both, just, I—"

"I understand, (Y/N)."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I never had that person either."

"But you had your parents, Max, you don't know what I'd give for parents like yours."

"I know that, too."

"And now, I was thinking that person could be...you."

"What?"

"Max, I never stopped liking you, I mean it's a little stronger than just like but not love, but um..yeah."

He frowned, linking your index fingers underneath the pillow, "(Y/N), you know I love you, but, but I'm with Allison. I-I'm sorry."

You sent him a sad smile, pulling your hand away and sitting up. He sat up right after you, grabbing your hands, "I'm sorry."

You sighed, brushing your hair away from your face and then curling your knees to your chest. Max wrapped his hands around you before pressing a kiss to your temple, "I'm so sorry."

You sniffled, trying to push back your tears, "It's not somethung you should feel sorry about. It isn't really your fault."

You sighed, wiping away a tear before turning your back to him, letting your legs dangle off the bed and feeling goosebumps run along your leg, "Although, I should probably leave."

 Max scrambled from his bed, grabbing your wrist, "No, (Y/N), I—"

"Max, it's okay, I knew you were dating Allison, I should never have said anything." You gently pulled your hand away from him, but he grabbed both your wrist once again, pulling you closer to him.

"No! I would rather that than you not saying anything to me for weeks. Please don't go back to alienating all of us. You don't know how much you've wrorried us."

"Max, I want to go back home."

"(Y/N), you can't go. I—"

"You want me to stay? Here with you when you just told me that you don't feel the same way that I feel about you?"

"It doesn't matter!"

"It does! Because the more time I spend here the more I rely on you, the more I want to be with you, and if you don't feel the same way then I'm just going to get hurt."

"Why can't we just be best friends?"

You pulled your hands out of his, "I want to be that one person for somebody."

"You can!"

"That wouldn't be fair to Allison, Max. I appreciate your effort but I want to be alone right now."

Max looked absolutely desperate, jumping from the bed to stand in your way, "(Y/N), please, don't leave like this. The past few weeks has been hell on us, not knowing how you were doing. Please don't do this to us again just because of me."

Even though you weren't sure how you felt or what you wanted, you knew that you wanted to be with Max but that it wouldn't be right. You'd never have him completely, and you could end up wrecking what he has with Allison too.

Shakily, you wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your head against his chest and letting a few tears slip past you when his arms held you tightly to him, "I'm sorry for making you worry. But please, let me go home. The longer I wait here, the more evident it becomes that I want you, but I can't have all of you. And call me selfish but after years of not having anyone, I want one person that's just for me."

You then leaned up, pecking his cheek so feather-light. You felt like kissing him, cradling his face as he wrapped his arms around your waist just like you did before you left. But you did leave and you weren't with Max anymore.

The thought of having to leave the room knowing that the one person you wanted to be with more than anything didn't want to be with you had you shaking in his arms.

You managed to pull yourself from him and immediately felt cold, you missed the way he was pressed to you, feeling his gaze and his breath fan your skin.

"I'll see you later." You whispered, before walking to his door, thankful that the dark hid the tears streaming down your cheeks but you were sure he saw your body shake with sobs as you left his room.