porcelain // l.h

eleven

August was gone? No, no way. Tris wouldn't allow herself to believe it, he didn't even tell her that he even thought about leaving. Yeah she knew they weren't best friends or anything like that, but she thought that they could be, she thought he was different to everyone else in this stupid school. But apparently not.. He was like everyone else in her life, disappointing her and then leaving without another word. 

Tris felt so angry, she felt as if there was literally fire inside of her and steam was coming out of her ears, like in the movies. All she wanted to do was scream, hit something, anything to get rid of this growing pain inside of her. It was so scary, she didn't know what this feeling was, all she knew was that ninty-nine percent of the time she was terrified to walk out her door in the morning because she thought something bad was going to happen. She didn't understand it, she was never this scared of things before, she knew to at least put a brave face on but now she didn't even care to do so, all she wanted to do was hide. 

Tris knew why she felt like this, well at least she'd like to believe she knew why. She wanted to blame Luke for all of this, he was the one who threatened her in such a twisted way it made her feel sick to the stomach. He had a way of scaring her, but still making her want him around. 

But right now she didn't care if he left, in fact, she wanted to be the one to make him leave. Ever since that night in the woods, things changed, whether it was Luke's fault or not Tris wasn't thinking straight and could only see him as the reason for all of this pain. It was like she was a deer caught in headlights and he was behind the wheel of the car, knowing she was there, and not caring to stop. 

It was past curfew, and Tris couldn't sleep, she hadn't been for the last few days but that was beside the point. She had a plan, and spent most of the night trying to talk herself into it. 

She had written most of it down on a piece of paper that she had ripped out of her sketch pad, most of it was gibberish and made no sense at all, but somehow to her it made total sense. 

It went kind of something like this;

9:00; curfew - wait, prepare

9:10; check lola - should be sleeping 

9:20; calum's dorm - luke

9:25; get inside dorm - check luke

9:30; final plan

9:35; get back to dorm

Because it was past curfew, it meant she had to start her plan, but she was second guessing herself. Did she really want to do this? 

Tris slowly got out of bed, she was fully dressed and held a book close to her chest, with the piece of paper with her plan on it stuffed inside. She quickly checked on Lola, who was sound asleep, thankfully. Now was her chance, she had to run, she had to get out.

Once she got to the door she slowly opened it, the creaking noise it made echoed thorugh the dorm and she paused quickly holding her breath. Her heart beated hardly against her ribcage, if she tried pushing it again it would make more noise, and Lola wasn't a heavy sleeper. She stared at the door for awhile, deciding what to do. The gap she had made was big enough for her to slip through, but it would take some effort. Tris managed it however, and soon found herself running across the courtyard. (She believed running would make less noise then her trying to be quiet, because let's face it, we tend to make more noise when we try not too.) 

She stopped out the front of Michael's door, and lent against the wall, trying to catch her breath. "I can do this." She whispered to herself.

No lights were on inside of Calum and Luke's room, from what she could tell, which meant either Luke wasn't inside or was sleeping, which made it her plan a little easier. She slowly shuffled her way over to their door, and pulled out the booby pin from her hair and bended it so she could stick it into the key lock. Tris was, let's say, trained at breaking into places. It started back when she was at leasr sixteen and her Mother kept locking her out the house after a fight and Tris would threaten to leave, and when she decided to come back she needed a way to get back inside. Also she watched many seasons of 'Supernatural' and seeing how they broke into places.

It didn't take her long to get it open, the sound of the lock unlocking clicked, and Tris felt as if her heart dropped to her stomach. She took a deep breath and pushing the door open, it was dark inside so she had to sqint a bit to see in the dark. She couldn't see anything, so she guessed Luke wasn't in. She swallowed hard and took another deep breath, and stepped inside.

But her plan wasn't meant to be.

A hand found its way to cover her mouth and another wrapped around her torso, and the feeling of warm breath tickled the side of her face. Tris wanted to scream, but she couldn't, she fought hard to get out of this person's grip, but she couldn't. The warm breath became hot and a chuckled echoed through the room, Tris felt tears start to form in her eyes as she knew who it was, and she knew she wasn't going to go back to her dorm tonight, or maybe not even any night.

"You made a bad decision coming here, Doll."

a.n: I'm pretty sure I say sorry every friggin chapter now that I don't update but I really don't know what else to say, cause I am sorry and I feel so bad for not updating more, because I know a few of you actually like this story. 

I really hope this is okay, I'm losing motivation to write and when I do it takes me so much effort and ugh. And I have edited so if there is spelling mistakes and stuff blame autocorrect and me being hella tired.

I want to update more offen but if I don't it's because I just not feeling it :-( I've got a lot going on right now and I just gotta deal with that first before I come to write. I don't want to sound selfish, but I really need to start putting myself first. 

But some good news, my best friend called me last night and told me he missed me and he thinks I'm cute and he loves me ugh (if you haven't guess he's kind of my crush so yeah)