Pieces [Wattpad's Editor's Choice]

24: SiDeKiCkS

College sucked. I didn't get the full college experience I once hoped for and only had two months left.

Arrow didn't love me. Crazy, right? The one person I created to love me, and he didn't. Because he wanted to experience life in its full capacity. Yet that was exactly the same reason I wanted him to love me: I wanted to experience life in its full capacity, too. And no, I didn't need a guy to love me to do that. I understand that. But it was a piece of life I had yet to experience, and love was such a beautiful thing. Who wouldn't want to experience genuine love at least once in life?

I made a promise to myself to not date anyone in med school so I could devote all my time to studying and do my best. But that was the promise I made to myself throughout high school; that's how I graduated early. That's how I made honors my first year of college. That's how I got where I am now.

But through all of that, I never paused to experience life. I rushed. I grew up fast. I sped past small things like relationships, parties, social events. Luna and I became friends because we were roommates; it was a struggle for me to branch out and meet people on my own. Ethan was a fluke. I strategically sat near him last semester every single day until it broke our social barrier (another Psych tip). We didn't talk at all initially, but Psychology says if you sit next to someone every day for several weeks, they feel like they know you-even if they don't. So I sat next to that sweet-smelling boy every. Freaking. Day. Even if it meant hopping over some seats and backpacks just to take that empty spot behind him that was furthest from the door, even while there were several open spots in the front.

But guess what? Ethan started talking to me this semester. He saw me on our first day, came up to me, asked, "Can I sit here?" and I said, "Of course," and that was the beginning of Ethan Suede and I.

That psychology crap was real.

I still didn't plan to date in med school, which was why I wanted to now, when the stakes weren't as high and I saw love with fresh eyes. Life was passing me by and I'd experienced multiple heartbreaks, but not my first love.

"College sucks." I said to no one. My voice echoed. "People suck. Books suck. Love sucks. Boys suck. Everything sucks." My right cheek ached from my knuckles digging into for several hours, but who cared? Maybe I deserved this.

I stared at my notebook where I kept my secret bucket list, aka my Boyfriend Bucket List. I started writing it at the start of this semester, when I decided it was time to find a boyfriend. I didn't know who I'd cross these off with, just that I wanted to before I graduated.

1. 𝒦𝒾𝓈𝓈 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽ℯ 𝓇𝒶𝒾𝓃
2. 𝒦𝒾𝓈𝓈 𝓊𝓃𝒹ℯ𝓇𝓌𝒶𝓉ℯ𝓇
3. 𝒦𝒾𝓈𝓈 𝓊𝓃𝒹ℯ𝓇 𝓉𝒽ℯ 𝒻𝒾𝓇ℯ𝓌ℴ𝓇𝓀𝓈 ℴ𝓃 𝓉𝒽ℯ ℱℴ𝓊𝓇𝓉𝒽 ℴ𝒻 𝒥𝓊𝓁𝓎
4. 𝒦𝒾𝓈𝓈 𝒾𝓃𝓉ℴ 𝓉𝒽ℯ 𝒩ℯ𝓌 𝒴ℯ𝒶𝓇
5. 𝒦𝒾𝓈𝓈 ℴ𝓃 𝒱𝒶𝓁ℯ𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓃ℯ'𝓈 𝒹𝒶𝓎
6. 𝒲ℯ𝒶𝓇 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒽ℴℴ𝒹𝒾ℯ
7. 𝒯𝒶𝓁𝓀 𝒶𝒷ℴ𝓊𝓉 ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝒻ℯ𝒶𝓇𝓈.
8. 𝒪𝓋ℯ𝓇𝒸ℴ𝓂ℯ 𝒻ℯ𝒶𝓇𝓈 𝓉ℴℊℯ𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓇.
9. 𝒯𝓇𝒶𝓋ℯ𝓁 𝓈ℴ𝓂ℯ𝓌𝒽ℯ𝓇ℯ 𝓃ℯ𝒾𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓇 ℴ𝒻 𝓊𝓈 𝒽𝒶𝓋ℯ 𝒷ℯℯ𝓃.
10. 𝒯𝒶𝓀ℯ 𝒶 𝒸𝓊𝓉ℯ 𝒸ℴ𝓊𝓅𝓁ℯ 𝓅𝒾𝒸 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝒶𝓀ℯ 𝒾𝓉 ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝒽ℴ𝓂ℯ 𝓈𝒸𝓇ℯℯ𝓃𝓈.
11. ℳ𝒶𝓉𝒸𝒽!
12. 𝒮𝓁ℯℯ𝓅 𝓉ℴℊℯ𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓇 (𝒶𝓈 𝒾𝓃, 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝓈𝓁ℯℯ𝓅. ℋℴ𝓁𝒹 ℯ𝒶𝒸𝒽 ℴ𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓇. 𝒮𝒫𝒪𝒪𝒩.)
13. 𝒯𝒽ℯ𝓃 ℛℰ𝒜ℒℒ𝒴 𝓈𝓁ℯℯ𝓅 𝓉ℴℊℯ𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓇 (𝒷ℯ 𝓈𝒶𝒻ℯ!)
14. 𝒜𝓈𝓀 𝓂𝓎 𝓁ℴ𝓋ℯ𝓇 𝒾𝒻 𝒽ℯ'𝓈 𝒾𝓃 𝓁ℴ𝓋ℯ 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓂ℯ, 𝓉ℴℴ.