Spiderson Oneshots

Ideas and Insomnia--Reader and Peter

Warnings: Mentions of blood, death, and bombs; language

Pairings: Reader x Peter

Ideas are both a blessing as well as a curse, a fact well known to you given your occupation as a writer. They are welcome in a time between stories or when a plot hole needs to be filled. Any other time, that's a hard no to ideas. It's like trying to hang a sign on your brain reading 'not today; we're closed here.' Of course, that is not how it works.

Having the mind of a writer has two modes--the overflowing toilet and the empty cookie jar. There is no in-between, but, oh, how you wish there were.

It is at this time--4 a.m. --that you are going through the aforementioned 'empty cookie jar' phase. You had just finished a series you had started nearly two years prior. Other smaller stories had sprung from breaks that you had been proud to post and not so proud to receive next-to-no reads. Tiny oneshots had bloomed in states of sadness, bringing to life one of your favorite characters. It was going well, that is until your brain decided that it was time to move on from your current fandom where the oneshots had come from and go to a new fandom. The thing is, the oneshots that you had posted was growing on popularity. How would readers feel for it to end?

You know that these oneshots have been your saving grace, along with your best friend Peter Parker, more commonly known as Spider-Man. To give these emotions to the character had been a therapy when you couldn't talk. If you moved on, what would be the thing to keep your head above the water?

That is the very reason why you are wanting the 'overflowing toilet' to switch on. You need to start a new story. You need to feel the passion that's been absent for so long that only comes from writing a long story.

You love to write, but without the passion, the words are nothing. You don't feel that spark anymore. It's become more of a chore than a hobby.

Ideas had come, but they weren't enough. Inside, you feel this ache of a story that's waiting to burst. You know it's there, and you want to free it. But it's in a different language, and you're stuck without a translator. There's a story you need to tell, you just haven't figured out what it is.

It's been nearly two weeks since you finished the series. You don't know what to do. You're questioning this so-called 'talent' for writing. How can you be good if you can't even write a story?

Besides the attacks to your self-esteem, you're finding it hard to process anything emotionally besides aching loneliness for fictional people. The characters you have created are a part of you, and to rip yourself away and write the final 'the end' hurts. And as for other characters, specifically the one you write about in your oneshots, you miss them. Your mind is telling you to move on, but how can you move on from the people that have carried you through some of the roughest times? You've quite literally fallen in love with them (You don't talk about the time that you fell in the library and landed in front of that interesting book.), and even though you've never met them, you miss them.

Sometimes you find yourself wondering if you've been born in the wrong world. You feel as if you have no place here. You don't want to be here, so why must you be? The only thing keeping you here is your writings and your best friend that never shows up to anything.

Sometimes, you wonder if those characters were real, would they even like you? Would they be happy with the person you are? Or would they turn their backs too?

---~---~---

You blink when you here a tap at your window. You had been in a state between sleep and wakefulness where nothing was really happening up in your head. And you were annoyed to realize that no ideas had come, even when that's the best time for it.