Tan
I am a huge jerk...
I'm so mad at myself for being such a jerk towards Lallaina. Damn it, the girl I love the most. I f*cking hurt her. I don't know if I can forgive myself for doing that to Lallaina. Sh*t. I let my pride, my anger, my ego control me.
If she didn't told me the whole story... I will still be cold to her.. Damn it, bakit ngayon ko lang nalaman ito?
if I just know her side I shouldn't have left... Hindi ko siya dapat iniwan. I'm such a jerk.
Tine... My sister Tine... I don't know what to feel right now.. My sister knew all of these but she didn't bother to tell me? How did she keep that from me? Hindi ba siya naawa sa akin? Hindi ba niya alam ang pinagdaanan ko sa London? She knows how broken I am.. And she knows that I'm still hoping for Ashley to come back to me but she didn't tell me that Lallaina did.. Damn it, I'm hurt.. Hindi niya sinabi sa akin kahit nung nakauwi na ako? Alam niyang kasama ko si Lallaina sa movie, hindi parin niya sinabi? Ano ba nasa isip ng kapatid ko? Nasaktan ako sa ginawa niyang pagtago sa akin.
I feel so guilty... This past few months, I've been nothing but a jerk to Ashley. I didn't bother to listen to her or appreciate everything she did for me. I made her feel that she's nothing to me. I pretended to be so cold to her. Damn it, you can't blame me? I was hurt okay? And I didn't know the whole story yet.
I still can't believe that she left me for everyone's sake. She sacrificed her own happiness just for the sake of her love ones. She is such a wonderful girl. Kung nalaman ko lang sana agad. Naiinis talaga ako sa sarili ko.
But do you know the reason why I left 2 years ago? Well, one of the reasons is... Of course because of Lallaina. I was broken.. I feel hopeless. And I got tired.. But it doesn't mean that I'm going to stop loving her.. Nagpahinga lang ako. And I went to london to work there. I want to be on the same level with her so when I came back I can be with her.. No one can complain or stop us because we're in the same world. I worked so hard to be a successful director. I created different kinds of videos, I asked someone help on the people that I knew who have a connection in some big companies on making movies. I did that for Lallaina. I want to prove to her mom, to her management that I can be with Lallaina. If they want a guy who is on the same level with Lallaina, I'm here. I'm a big and successful director right now.
