At all costs

Chapter VIII

Natasha has completely lost track of time. She can't say if she's been held for a month or just a day, lying on the same damn table. However, there is one feeling that hasn't left her since she knew they discovered her pregnancy: fear. It's a somewhat new feeling for the assassin she is, and she hates it. She hates feeling weakened. But at the same time, she thanks God for every new session of torture she goes through without losing the baby. He's definitely already as strong as his father, that's for sure. She smiles unconsciously at the idea, while a pain pierces her chest. She'd give anything to be in his arms right now. She is tired of pretending to be strong, of smiling, of fighting, of carrying the responsibility of the world on her shoulders. She never thought she'd say this before, but she dreams of a house, a home, a family, taking her child to school in the morning, going shopping like everyone else, watching TV with hot chocolate in front of a fireplace in winter, fighting snowball fights, building sand castles in summer, going on a trip to Rome on a weekend. She suddenly thinks back to the discussion she had a few days earlier with Steve. He had asked her if she was considering retirement. She replied that she could never be a simple housewife. Watching television, seeing an attack somewhere, being scared but not moving because it's not her job to protect the world. But it's something she can never have. Never. She couldn't do it. Not anymore. Natalia the innocent one who wanted all this, who just wanted to grow up, died years ago in a cellar in Russia. Replaced by Black Widow, the cold, heartless, soulless, unscrupulous. Then to be replaced again by Natasha Romanoff, the agent of the S.H.I.E.L.D, an Avengers, a woman endowed with feelings and although it may surprise many, pregnant. Until then, Natasha finds this latest version to be the best of all. Being Natalia would probably have been great, but it would never have allowed her to be where she is today, to be who she is. That is probably her greatest pride. She owes it to many people, but she is still proud of it. And she'll do whatever it takes to make sure that red finally disappears from her ledger.

« Why this smile, my child »  Thanos asks her, pulling her out of her thoughts.

She looks at him badly.

« It's none of your business » she answers him in a cold voice.

« You're thinking about him »

It was not a question but rather a fact. Not wishing to answer but knowing full well that she cannot lie to him, Natasha decides to remain silent.

« He won't come »

Yet another fact, which affects Natasha in the heart, although she keeps a stoic face.

« You don't know » she murmurs, seeking above all to reassure herself.

« I took care of that. »

At this sentence, Natasha feels her heart beating violently against her chest. Her breathing is accelerating slightly. No, that's impossible... Steve can't be... He promised... How...

« He's not dead »  

Natasha feels her chest loosening slightly. So there is still hope, is there not? At least that's what she thinks before Thanos gave up:

« He thinks you're dead, though. »

« How..."  she starts, shaking her head to chase the feeling of compression out of her chest.

Thanos closes the fist and activates the reality stone. Immediately, the room fades away and gives way to a universe unknown to Natasha. However, in Thanos' eyes, she guesses that it is Titan, his native planet. Lush, the planet is covered with greenery and trees with unknown fruits. A smell of forest after the rain and freshness hit Natasha hard, making her temporarily forget her condition. She looks at him silently, waiting for him to turn himself in.