Lost In My Imperfections

Chapter 6 - The Colour Of The Day Is Black

I sat up , yawing as I checked the clock. It read 7O'clock , 'Great ! I'm early' I think to myself sarcastically as I go to get up. Instead of gettting up , I managed to ge dragged back down. I moaned in annoyance , " Kyle! I swear if you don't let me get up , I will punch you in the face!" I scream , as Kyle finally let go , raising his hands to show he was surrendering. I laughed before getting up , making my way upstairs , and jumping into the shower. 

Getting out , I walked into my walk in wardrobe , grabbing my 'This Means War' black lace shirt , and my green jeans. I lifted my bag onto my shoulders , before skipping out the door. I didn't make it far out the door before I slammed into someone. " Oh....um sorry there. Didn't mean to run into you there" I said not bothering to look up. Although when I did my face paled and I felt sick. In front of me was my mum. Her hair was messy , her face was pale and her eyes looked empty and wet.

" Your father is in the hospital. He might have cancer" She said bluntly , not even bothering to make eye contact. " What!" I screeched , but she ignored me. She started walking down the driveway , I called out again but she didn't responded. 'My dad might die. He might....die' I think to myself before standing up , making my way to the school.

It was a two minute walk of deafining silence. I wore an emotionless expression on my face , and my mind was blank , apart from the constant murmering of 'he might die' running through my head. I didn't know what to do , my father was in the hospital , with cancer. How does someone deal with that thought. How come when ever I get that tiny little bit of happiness , something bad happens. I don't think I would be able to cope if another person in my life were to....die. 

I was so caught up in my mind , that I hadn't realised I had instinctivly started scratching at my cuts. A trickle of blood slid down my arm , and someone was pulling me into an embracement. I didn't know who the person was , but I didn't have the strenght metally or physically to push them away. I could smell vanilla , it was soothing in a way and without realising it I had fallen into a deep sleep.

****(XoX)****

I awoke to find myself staring at the ceiling , my head was leaning on an angle. A strange vanilla scent filled my nostrils , and I sat up. " You're awake" I heard a voice say , I look behind me and I came to face Josh. He sat there with his hands in his lap , fiddling with his fingers. He looked cute doing that. " How'd I get here?" As I looked around the room. We were in the library in my little corner where we first met. " You looked distressed , and you came into the school grounds scratching your cuts , and looking practically lifeless. When I hugged you , it was minutes before you fell asleep. I thought were would a distressed person be better waking up , and I remembered that this is your special little place so I brang you here." He replied , looking up for only a second before focusing back on his hands. I must have scratching at my cuts without realizing it again because Josh jumped up and slapped my hands away. " Trust me. Scratching at it makes it worse. " He said before unexpectedly pouring anti-septic on them , wrapping a bandage around them. " How would you know" I murmed , glancing up to see his reaction before looking at my arm. " Because I do it too.."  He replied softly , I looked over at his arm but it was covered by the sleave of his hoodie. I reached over before he could protest and lifted it up. His arm was worse then mine , words like 'hate' , 'pathetic' and 'stupid' were sketched into his arm. Before I could get a better look , he ripped his sleave back down , crossing his arms against his stomach and looking away. " Why would someone who looks like they have a decent life have a reason to cut?" I asked the curiousity biting at the edge of my skull.

Josh told me how his parents hated each other with a pure passion , and that his mums boyfriend was always holding a knife towards him , he also told me how his friends left him  , and started to make rumours up that he was gay , so now he tended to just stay in the library. Evidently on the opposite side from my side of the library. " That makes a lot more sense now" I said looking at him with grateful eyes. He had been so nice to do what he did for me. 

As we got up to leave , I unexpectedly gave him a hug , in which he didn't deny. I rested my head in the crook of his neck , breathing in his scent before letting go and saying good-bye.'Finally. Someone like me'  I think to myself as I walk down the pathway back towards Kyle's  house. Maybe everything will be alright , just like what Josh said....