Lost In My Imperfections

Chapter 18 - No Need For A Goodbye

I paced in the guest bedroom I had retreated too after my fight with Kyle. I didn't mean to be so harsh but their was no other way , everything I had said was true but some of it was a little over exaggerated. I sighed , running my fingers through my sweat soaked hair. I had to see if Josh was okay , the hospital although thought otherwise as they just refused to let me see him. His parents even personally asked me to move out of the house through a text message only minutes ago. So obviously I wasn't welcome. Great.

I heard a soft knock on the door , Kyle's breathing sounding heavy as I walked towards it.

" What?" I ask as I hear him knock once again ,

" Dinner" He says plainly , stepping back as I opened the door.

" Thanks" I say softy before taking the tray from his hands, closing the door in his face.

I didn't care how he was feeling at this point , selfish and insensitive was what I was being but who could blame me. After everything I had been through in the one day... How was I supposed to be jolly and love everyone. I hated the fact that people had parents who were normal , parents that wouldn't stab your boyfriend - FRIEND - and then commit suicide. Like come on. That just ain't right.

I knew I should be expressing all this to Kyle , I mean he was my best friend but how was I supposed to explain the years of abuse my parents had put me through , the torture of never having a friend. It would take days to explain that much pain and it still wouldn't be enough to explain how I became the way I am. I wouldn't lie. I was twisted, cruel and it was all hidden behind my subconscious. Well until I became mad. That was the only downside in my case. I mean I was loving , I cared for most the people who had the insanity to care for me in return but as soon as they ticked me off...things I would never even dream of saying to them casually will slip out smoothly laced in venom. It scared me sometimes but I couldn't help it. Maybe I got it from my schizophrenic mother. Now that would explain a lot.

My phone buzzed in my pocket , causing me to jump in surprise. The text was from Josh.

J- Don't mind my parents, I know they don't want you seeing me but I was wondering if you could come up tomorrow ? Also don't reply to this text , I am supposed to be sleeping but I just quickly had an opportunity to message you! Don't worry , I am fine and I will be good as new soon. See you soon xx

That was all it said. Of course I was determined to reply to him but I obeyed his wishes. Didn't want him getting into trouble now did I? I was just relieved that he was indeed okay , I was still pissed about his parents but anyways , not my problem really. I wish they could just understand that it wasn't my fault my mother was bat shit crazy and stabbed Josh, Legit I would have stabbed her if I had; had a chance. I didn't though so their was nothing I could really do about that , but Oh well.

Slowly eating the small meal Kyle had made for me , I started doing some of the school work I had managed to aquire before I had disappeared from it's sight. I never really liked going there anyway , but If I hadn't I wouldn't met either of the two lovely boys in my life so I guess that itself is a plus side...apart from my mother stabbing one of them. A soft knock sounded at the door. Reluctently I replied softly a come in , the door slowly swinging open. Kyle poked his head through and gave a weary smile. I knew he wanted to talk to me but he said nothing as he sat at the end of the bed, playing with his fingers.

" So we can go see Josh tomorrow..." He says softly , continuing to look at the ground rather then my face.

"I'm going to take a wild guess and say he messaged you as well?" I reply , pushing the tray of food away from me. My appetite disappearing.

"Yeah , It was only short though. I was wondering if you wanted to...you know...go together?" He asked nervously , as if he was walking on thin ice.

"I suppose that would be good , I mean it'd be nice for him to have his two friends their with him at the same time" I say smoothly , playing with the blankets edges.

"Okay, cool" Was all Kyle said before taking the tray and leaving me alone with my thoughts once again.

I suppose Kyle and I were going to have to fix what happened between us eventually and time together should smooth that out a lot quicker I suppose. Only time could tell really.
I looked at the glowing clock on the bedside table , it's digits showing that it was eight o'clock. A soft yawn escaped my lips as I propped myself up against the headboard with pillows supporting me , picking up my book that Kyle had left out for me to read. He knew me all to well.

After maybe three hours of reading my eye lids slowly started to shut , darkness filling around me as I fell into sleeps welcoming arms.
*
I awoke to a high pitched squeal in my ears , my eyes fluttering open to the suns blinding rays as I sat up.

"So you are finally awake?" Kyle asks leaning over me , whilst putting his phone back into his pocket.

"Yeah , I suppose I am thanks to that blasted contraption called a cell phone" I reply , slipping out of the beds warmth.

"Hey! I just didn't wanna wait for your slow ass to get ready before we left for the hospital" He states before leaving me alone to get ready. It had totally slipped my mind. I was finally going to get to see him. Finally.