host family II ; jack gilinsky

fifteen

lunas pov

one year later

its been one year since ive seen or spoken to jack. after our visit, johnson and i both left together, only a few days later. it was too hard to forget but i have forgiven him now. i understand why he did what he did i just knew i couldn't be with him again. 

danny and i are engaged and getting married in a month. i try not to think about jack, but every night when im lying in bed, i find my mind wandering off, thinking about what life would be like if jacks arms were around me every night, not danny's. 

i feel horrible but i can't stop. plus, theres no harm if danny doesn't know about it. when i got back we both agreed not to mention jack anymore, and we haven't. i have no idea where he is or how he's doing, but i always hope that he's doing okay. 

"baby ill be back, do you need anything from the store?" danny calls as he grabs his jacket and coat. im torn from my thoughts and look up from the coffee that resting in between my hands on the island. 

"no im okay, thank you." i smile as he walks over and plants a simple kiss on the top of my head. he says a quick i love you as he walks toward the door and disappears behind the wood. i release a breath i didn't even know i was holding as soon as he's out of sight. im not completely sure how i feel about jack. i never fully got the closure i was looking for, but it got to the point where i couldn't wait around for him anymore. 

soon theres a knock on my door and im on my feet before i can even begin to wonder who could possibly be behind it. my answers are soon answered as i open the door to find jacks father. im at a loss of words as i look at the man i only briefly met, and haven't seen in a long time. he doesn't look any different as he shoots me an award winning smile, the same one jack always managed to have. 

to be completely honest, i didn't think i would be seeing this man for the rest of my life. i thought that once i let go of jack, he'd go with him. i wonder how he even found me. did jack tell him where i live? did he really travel all the way out here to see a girl he doesn't know at all and hasn't seen in over three years? i feel as though the breath has been taken directly out of my lungs and im gasping for air. not literally, but it feels as though this is whats happening right before my eyes. 

im losing track of time and i can't tell if ive been standing here for merely seconds, or hours. what is he doing here? what could possibly be so important that he'd come halfway across the world to see me in person? is jack okay? he told me the men had gone away, it couldnt possibly have anything to do with that .. could it?

"luna." is all he says as he pulls me into an awkward hug. i wouldn't say we got close in the time i spent at his house. i was mostly closed off and trying to avoid jack. "hey?" i manage to get out as he lets go and i open the door wider, allowing him to come in. 

"h-how are you doing? i mean are you okay? have you heard anything from the man that showed up here?" he struggles to get out as he walks in and i close the door behind him. i can feel the color draining from my face as my worst thought is coming true. 

"no why? is everything okay?" i rush to get out. needing to hear the confirmation right this second that nothing horrible has happened to jack, again.

"yes yes, everything is okay," i release all the air that i was holding in, feeling relief wash over me. "i just wanted to make sure no one was bothering you again."

okay? theres no way he came all this way to check up on me. im not sure what to say back and i can feel the air growing even more awkward than it already was. i study his face to find any emotion that would show me the reason he's really here. 

"okay, im really here because of jack." he sighs as he takes a seat on the couch. i hadn't even realized we walked into the room until just now. "he's not doing so well luna. he drinks. all the time. i can't seem to shake him from this. he's extremely depressed and he refuses to get help. he was doing okay, you know when you guys first went your separate ways. but then johnson accidentally slipped up and mentioned your upcoming wedding." he looks at me as if im going to crack, looking for any signal that he should stop.

but theres nothing there. im not sure what emotion im supposed to be feeling right now. am i relieved that he finally knows? am i upset with johnson for not keeping the one secret i asked? am i worried about his drinking? do i want to hop on the next flight over there and comfort him and take away all of his worries?

"i was hoping maybe you could reach out to him? maybe talk some sense into him?" he asks, clearly unsure of how this conversation is going to go. i ponder the thought for a little, wondering if i could even do anything to help. 

"im sorry david, but i don't think theres anything i could do. we didn't exactly leave off on the right foot and i haven't heard from him since." i say apologetically. i do wish there was something i could do but that would be going against my entire relationship with danny. 

"i understand. i was hoping maybe a little part of you still loved him and wanted to help out his desperate father." he looks so worried. i recall having that same face when it comes to the topic of jack way too many times. 

"ill talk to danny and see how he feels. if he's okay with it then ill reach out to him and see what i can do." i say. i can immediately see relief wash over his face. "thank you so much luna. i can't tell you how much i appreciate your willingness to help." he says as we both stand.

this was a quick encounter but he got what he needed out of it. it seems as though im always the one pulling jack out of his messes. i thought that eventually this would be over. especially since i had a year of peace. nothing from jack or his hectic life. 

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wow his guys (:

i missed you all. i hope you didn't forget about me. but im back and im going to try and finish this book even though i have absolutely no idea where im going with this !!!