Keep my Secret (pearlmethyst fanfic)

1. Crush

Author PoV

Having a crush is hard when you're a gem.

This is because you can live literally forever and not tell them.

It's very painful.

Also, when you have a crush who has had their previous love die before, then you know you're screwed. 

Because then their heart was already given to someone, and they don't usually heal that quickly.

So you can imagine the situation Amethyst was in, right? Yeah, not great.

Amethyst PoV

You know how Pearl... watches Steven sleep most of the time?

Well, that's because she cares about him. That and he has Rose's gem, so it just makes sense for her to want to watch him.

So... if Pearl was allowed to watch Steven... then it's okay if I watch Pearl sometimes too, right?

I really, really like Pearl. Which kinda sucks, because in case you hadn't heard, Pearl's 'love boat' is shared with Rose. 

Or I guess was. Whatever.

Pearl's been... getting over... Rose. Which is a weird thing for her to do, too. I guess technically it's for Steven's sake, but my stupid heart keeps saying that maybe she's doing it for me.

And THAT doesn't make any sense, because I'm so much worse than Rose was, and why would anyone want me when they could have her?

Now I'm getting worked up. Let me try this again.

Right now, nobody's home. Well, nobody but me and Pearl, but she doesn't actually know that I'm here, sort of spying on her. 

But I'm just watching her the way she watches Steven, and that's okay, right?

She's dancing in the living room in her graceful way, which makes me feel... serene. I don't really like feeling serene, but I really like watching Pearl.

Once, alone in my room, when I was absolutely sure that nobody was even at Steven's house, I... 

Well, I attempted to dance like her.

I fell.

I didn't try again... but I still watch Pearl dance, because she's pretty, and her dancing is pretty.

I seriously need help.

I have a crush on Pearl and I feel like I need to tell someone and if I don't I'll either find a monster and let it kill me or just end it all myself. 

So that means I need to find someone and tell them.

The only question being... who?