Hermitcraft Oneshots (OLD AND DISCONTINUED)

Oneshot: Sick Day

Warnings: Self-neglect
~

Mumbo woke up feeling like a cat being strangled with a xylophone. His throat was scratched something awful, and his vision was blurred and spotted. Plus, his head felt like a rubber panda being squeezed by an aggressive 6 and a half year old. Was it hot? It felt hot to him. Like, a batrillion degrees or something. The sensible part of his brain told him to stay in bed and rest, but the workaholic part of it told him to stop moping like a depressed chicken with Colgate and get to work. Well, we already know what's going to happen.

~

Mumbo groaned, half from the annoyance of running out of repeaters, and half from his increasingly poor vision. He foolishly donned his Elytra and started off to the Shopping District, first accidentally mistaking redstone torches for rockets. High above Grian's base moving fast, he suddenly couldn't take the altitude and passed out from exhaustion and pain.

~

Grian cheerfully hummed Shakira songs while picking flowers by his base. Ooh! This one looked like a pearlescent starburst! And this one looked like Mumbo was falling out of the sky! Huh. That's a weird thing to look like. And this one- WAIT. Grian shrieked as Mumbo's unconscious body fell into the water limply and began sinking rapidly. He impulsively dived into the frigid ocean and swam frantically towards the mustached hermit. Closer, closer, clos- YES! Grian held onto to Mumbo tightly and made a beeline for the surface. He dumped his body onto the grass like a kinkajou finding mustard in the winter.

Grian: HELP! I have an unconshis mumbo

Joe: Due to the unorthodox scenario, I will refrain from correcting you

Xisuma: WHAT?! Is he ok?! Where are you?!

Stress: Wait, what?! This better not be a prank Grian!

Grian: It's not! I'm at my base know

Joe: Why am I still here? Just to suffer.

Iskall: im coming grien!

JoeHills has left the chat.

False: I'm almost there

Biffa: you're the one with the flower pot right?

Xisuma arrived first, landing haphazardly like a dead kazoo with hay fever.

"Xisuma! Thank lord you're here. I don't know what to do! He's breathing- I think. Possibly,"
Grian cried uncertainly. X bounded over to Mumbo, and started pulling up his statistics.

"He has some sort of virus. But like, not a sickness virus. The ones that make servers crash. It must have latched on to him to escape me when I was clearing out viruses on Wedne- HOLY CRAP GRIAN YOU DIDN'T TELL ME HE ALMOST DROWNED," X finally noticed Mumbo's current state in his statistics.

Xisuma: BRING A WATER BREATHING POTION AND A REGEN POTION AND A GOLDEN APPLE

Stress: I don't have any of those ):

Biffa: nope sorry I don't either

Joe: Oh for gods sake I'll bring them

Cleo: You joined the chat again?

Stress, False, Biffa, Cleo, Doc, Ren, Cub, and Scar all arrived at the same time, crashing into each other like oboes with a cat allergy. They glared at one another then raced over to Mumbo.

"Did he fall in the water?!" Stress shrieked.

"Yes," Xisuma sighed.

Joe appeared behind him with a splash potion of water breathing.

"Here," he handed X the potion, who promptly splashed it on Mumbo. Joe passed over the regeneration potion and the golden apple, which immediately got shoved in Mumbo's face.

"Now what?" Grian fretted.

"We wait."

~

Mumbo frowned, had he fallen asleep? Oh dear. He had so much work to do! It was odd, he felt like people were watching him like reptile bats with a grey Lamborghini recessive gene. He blinked open his eyes wearily. Why was it so bright? Who woke up one day, and decided, 'I'm going to make the Sun obnoxiously bright!'

"Mumbo! You're awake!" Grian's cry snapped him out of his rant about the aggravatingly refulgent Sun. And now he sounded like Joe.

"Mumbo, don't you wanna rest longer? You were out for 3 days!"

"Oh dear, I was comatose for 3 days?!"

"Um no. I said you were unconscious. I think you hit your head too hard." Grian snorted. Joe could be seen rolling his eyes.

"Huh? Oh. Um. Well. Thanks for taking care of me but I really do have to get back to work," Mumbo stood up and stretched his back, attempting to escape.

"Ah ah ah! You're staying here and that is final!" Stress put her foot down. Literally and figuratively, "And you know, this wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been so- so- spoon-y! So from now on, I am so supervising your statistics with X! Like honestly-" Mumbo tuned out on her rant and sent Grian a pleading look, who simply shrugged, looking impossibly smug.

~

Word Count: ~798