Hermitcraft Oneshots (OLD AND DISCONTINUED)

Oneshot: No Kidding, Stupid!

Request by @Abiz01
Ex x Grian

Warnings: Romantic pairing, comedic character death (respawning is a thing is the oneshot)

~

"Watch it!" Grian blinked in surprise. Since when was X so hostile?

"Um... s-sorry?"  the pint-sized hermit stammered, "Hey... you're not X!"

"No kidding, stupid. Who are you?" the X-imposter demanded.

"Hi! I'm Grian! Who are you?"

"Evil Xisuma..." 'Evil Xisuma' mumbled, obviously caught off guard by Grian's chipper attitude.

"Your parents named you Evil? Any relation to Xisuma? Are you actually evil?" the blonde rushed out. 'Evil Xisuma' rolled his eyes,

"No, they didn't, but I don't remember my name anymore, my friends called me- used to call me Exy. I'm Xisuma's 'Evil' twin brother." he put up air quotes for 'Evil', "And yes, I would like to think so."

"Well, Exy, I think you're just a big softie!" Grian teased. And for the first time in a very long time, Exy was glad he had his helmet on, because his blush would make tomatoes jealous.

~

"So I was thinking, what if I built a modern house for my cat?"

"What?"

"So... I should?"

"Sure, go for it Gri..." Exy encouraged distractedly.

"What's wrong?" Grian whined, dragging out the 'o'.

"Just... tired,"

"Well... what if we played... tag you're it!" the tiny gremlin giggled, tapping the much taller in comparison on the chest, then running off. Exy's eyes widened in indignation,

"Oh, it is so on!" They played cat and mouse for a while, till Exy finally tackled Grian to the ground.

"Gotcha, stupid!" he proclaimed proudly.

"Yeah, yeah." Grian pouted, flushed from the sudden physical contact.

~

Meanwhile, a certain very disconcerted admin watched in surprise. Had EX tricked Grian? Was he going to betray him? Murder him in his sleep? He had to warn him!

~

"Listen, Grian..." Xisuma started, all the hermits watching him cautiously, silently warning him not to say anything callous.

"What is it? Why did you gather us here at 3 in the morning?!" Grian snapped, still disgruntled from being awoken at such ungodly hours.

"Not them... just you... Listen... I saw you've been hanging out with Evil Xisuma and-"

"Exy."

"Right, and I just felt like I should warn you..."

"What?! That's what this is about?! So I'm not allowed to have other friends?!"

"No, no! You can, just... not him!" Xisuma tried.

"Well why not?! What's to say he's not a better friend than any of you?!" the agitated hermit defended his crush. Many gasps were heard, and a particular mustached hermit looked especially hurt.

"He-he's an awful person Grian! He did terrible things!"

"Exactly! Did. He did terrible things, but now he's super nice and think you're all being really unfair!"

"I-I- look, Grian... I'm not going to stop you but-"

"Well I am! Grian, stop being so naive!" Iskall cut in harshly. Grian whirled around to face him,

"Excuse me?!" he snapped.

"He's right Grian..." Doc shrugged unapologetically.

"That's it! I'm so done! Goodnight and good riddance to all of you!" Grian growled, flying away quickly.

~

Grian sniffled into his pillow. How had things gone so wrong? He hadn't meant to hurt Mumbo's feelings, or anyone's for that matter. But they were being so close-minded! Why couldn't they see what he saw in Exy? A knock on his door pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Go away! I don't want to talk to you!" he groaned, flipping over onto his back.

"Are you sure about that?" an all too familiar voice snorted. Grian leapt out of bed, and opened the door, only to see Exy and all of the hermits. He wrinkled his nose,

"Exy? Why did you bring... them?"

"We went over to Evil- Exy's house last night and apologized..." Iskall started, uncharacteristically timid. Grian looked at Exy for confirmation, who nodded.

"We settled our differences. X makes me cookies, I won't blow up your bases," Exy explained, and Grian realized he was eating one of the cookies X had given him.

"Well," Grian sniffled emotionally, overwhelmed by joy, "If Exy is happy, I'm happy!"

"So Falsey, what should Grian and Exy's ship name be? I'm thinking mayb-"

[ Iskall85 was slain by Grian ]

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Word Count: ~678