arousal | taekook

an end and a beginning

well...

long time no see owo

first of all, hello i am alive and well.
second of all, sorry. i quite literally fell off the face of the earth and never returned to this dreaded book because i grew to hate it.

quite frankly i am utterly shocked; shocked that people actually still read this???? i had not visited this app for months and found people still commenting and adding it to their reading lists to this day and that absolutely baffled me. but i also felt that because people still read it, i ought to finally give an explanation as to why this book was never completed. you deserve to know, after all.

basically i didn't plan the plot before i started to write it. i made it up as i went along and suddenly found myself having no idea where it was going. i didn't come up with who the stalker was until the chapter i revealed it, and then people commented saying there must be someone else as well as his father as Jungkook got the piece of paper in class and it threw me because i hadn't even thought of that. it was flawed and the writing was awful.

of course i am aware that most readers are fairly young and so perhaps don't know much better, but i am almost 18 now and the writing quality from back then makes me physically groan.

i will also admit that back then i was a cringey koreaboo mess. i try and forget those dark times but sometimes it comes to haunt me and i hate hate hate it.

basically, to put it short, i hated the book. it was a reminder of my immature self and i still have no idea what was supposed to happen after the recent events. so there we have it.

i also don't write anywhere near as much as i used to as im so busy with schoolwork and life in general, however all is not lost!! i am applying to university for next year to study film production, and so can finally bring some of the stories in my head to life! i also have a plan for a potential novel that i would love to publish in the future. so all in all, i have developed as a person and am using my creativeness in a future career :)

writing fan fictions definitely helped me with my writing and i don't regret it, i just wish i had planned the stories in advance so that i actually knew what i was doing. at least my other two books weren't quite as terrible...

in terms of kpop, i am not as passionate as i used to be, mostly to get away from the toxicity of the fandoms and all that malarkey, but i do still stan some groups!! i have also become a bit of a Ten love bot from wayv/super m/nct(?)

however i am also going back to my weeb self and am into anime again (fun fact this account was originally for anime fics and i published one about Eren and Levi from AOT falling in love at a summer camp, although i don't ship them anymore as hahaha that's pedophilia with their real ages)

long story short, i have changed a lot since i wrote this book. i have developed into someone i am proud to be, and someone who is a lot more aware of the world around me. as for the future of this book, unfortunately it does not have one. this is it. i have nothing more to add to it.

i also promised a bts x shadowhunters fic and i did write the first few chapters for it, however it has also lost its flare for me. i think my time with fanfictions is over, but now i will focus on creating my own worlds and characters and concepts. to me, that is a lot more exciting.

and that is all!! if you want to follow me on twitter where i am actually active, my kpop account is @ tentowns and my new anime account where i am the most active is @ givenoya

thank you so much for all of the love and support you have given me and my work over the years, i couldn't have done it without you and i will never forget it!!

so for now, this is goodbye... but watch this space ;)

lots of love, em x