Love You Eternally

Chapter 10: Can I Hold You

It's been six months already since the night we have a coffee time together.

Six months of busy days and nights of working, six months of no-fangirling thing, six months of longing him too much. I never missed to think of him everyday and every night. Due to no-time searching about his shows, this is one thing I kept asking myself "Where is he now?"

He never called or even send me a letter. Due to busy schedules, I was not able to listen to his music. This time, I feel I am no longer that fangirling thing, but rather, as what he said, a someone special.

I miss him so badly. That's only I can have this time.

He said I have to enjoy life. Yes indeed, I never get stressed by his absence. I still trust he will be back one day.

Since a month ago, there is someone who courted me, named Lance. He is the client of the Law Firm. Me, this time, is a part time receptionist and Admin Assistant.

He sent flowers, invited me to a lunch or a dinner. Politely, since he is our client, I agreed to go out with him. But he knows I cannot be his lover. I only said to him, am not ready and I have priorities in life.

He understands I cannot recall my past. He said he will help in treating it.

He is a kind person and he understands my circumstance. But my heart is not belong to him. My heart till this day still belongs to the impossible man.

I don't know if I do the right thing, that I let someone courting on me despite I have with me this impossible man named Seve.

I describe him as such, that this ordinary woman like me find it impossible to be with a high-profile man.

I feel there is no specific tag for us - am I really a lover? MU? special someone? closed friend?

But I love him anyway. And I miss him so much.

"Where are you now Seve?"

It is Sunday morning. I don't have work but I need to do some errands - laundry, cleaning the Apartment, ironing, and having a grocery.

I was able to do all of these. Now it's time to buy some grocery.

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I go inside the grocery store. As I walk, I heard a noise saying:

"Live in ITV, BTS5!"

"BTS5! BTS5!" Whispering in my ears.

My heart beats faster.

Getting curious, I trace where the noise is coming from. There beside the entrance door is a TV live from London.

They sing a medley, then there is the last song of their album, when Seve said:

"I dedicate this last song to someone special to me. Where you are right now, what you do right now, who you are with right now, I wish you listen to this wonderful song created by me....for you."

He sing "You said forever."

As I listen to his voice, I feel I miss him more. I wish he is here beside me. I terribly want to be in the comfort of his embrace.

After he sang, the host is asking them if they have to greet someone. Seve speaks:

"Hi! Wanna greet someone a little bit far from here. She's a close friend of me. Hope you're doing well today. See you soonest!"

My thoughts:

"Is he pertaining to me? I wish it is still me." Feeling sad but hopeful.

I heard a footstep approaching me.