Cycles

What you did

****No copyright everything in this book belongs to me except the songs and pictures of the character****

WARNING this has violence and sexual assault in this book please enjoy and leave comments and please like and vote on this book ~Author

Danielle~

February 16th 1996

"I'M SORRY" I yelled as he continued to beat me

"Do you see what you're making me do," he said as he pushed me onto the ground and got on top of me and kept hitting me. I was getting beat for not doing what he expected. He hit me again. I'm screaming but nothing is coming out. My side hurts from him kicking me. It hurts to breathe. Why does the man I once loved do this to me? He got off the floor where I was, grabbed his drink,

"Go clean yourself up, you look disgusting" was all he said then and went upstairs. I watched his feet move up the stairs as I laid on the ground bleeding. I managed to get up and walk, or should I say, limp to the bathroom. I didn't even wanna look at myself, I had bruises and scars everywhere. I lifted my shirt, I winced at the pain my right side was blue and purple, he beat the Dominican outta me, I don't even look like myself anymore I mean how can I expect to when I'm stuck with him....And with every hit my future faded away the dim light ahead was darkening

I was nothing to him, nothing more than an object I was there to fulfill his needs and to please him but when I mess up he puts me in line for it but why does it have to hurt so bad.

"Dani" August said

"Yes baby?" I walked into the room

"I'm sorry babe I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you, you know that right and I promise I won't hurt you?"

She looked at me, then looked at the floor, then back to me

"I love you too,"I said faintly I was beginning to realize who I was in this world and what I meant to him I was his woman the same woman who grew up in a toxic household was constantly abused mentally and physically and fell into the same traps but at the hands of my lover

He watched as I walked down the stairs in pain. He knows I don't deserve this but maybe I do... Maybe this is my punishment for having a child out of wedlock like my mother said but this is how he was taught to treat a woman. If I only listened to him he wouldn't have to put his hands on me...

While thinking I convinced myself that what he's doing to me is okay I convinced myself that he's not hurting me because he enjoys seeing me in pain. He's not hurting me because he wants to, he's doing it because he needs to. I deserve it and he's doing this because he loves me right?

Maybe I should've just done what he'd ask me to do. None of this would've happened, maybe all of this is my fault, maybe he's right...

I got my phone out and dialed the Chinese take out phone number and ordered our usual orange chicken meals and sighed my best friend Monique texted me but I ignored her I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone right now

I grabbed a rag and put hot water on it to scrub the blood out of the carpets with every bone in my body. I wanted to believe him when he tells me he's sorry every morning but something in me does and I take him back every single time and this cycle of brokenness is continuing over and over I broke down as I thought about how my teenage years are being taken away from me because of this toxic relationship and because I had a child at 16 I cried and cried thinking about how I got here and how his hands have bruised almost every piece of skin still on my body he's damaged not only my body but my soul and there's no one who can fix that but God

I scrubbed the carpet hard until the blood was brownish I sighed we have a white carpet big mistake there were other spots of blood on the carpet but less noticeable then this puddle of blood I heard the doorbell ring I got up and sighed I put my curly hair down in front of my face to cover the bruising and dried blood I have yet to clean up the driver handed me the bag and ran back to his car