Mesperyian

Belive

The next morning I wake up to only Lana in the room, reading on a recliner in the corner of the room by the window, I move a little and she looks up from her book and smiles at my.

"Good morning." She says sweetly.

"Lana, I want to go home." I say my eyes already watering. I cant take it anymore, the people, this place, the sad looks, the silence, the being taken care of I just can't take it.

"I'll ask the doctor." She says and gets up. I bring the sheets to my neck and roll to the other side so I can watch the door.

After a couple of minutes the door opens again and Kevin walks in but stops when he sees that Lana is not here. He looks at me waiting to see how I react to us being alone. But I dont, I dont react, I dont feel, I cant seem to get myself to hate or love the idea of him being here so I just stare back at him waiting to see if anything happens to see if I can get a reaction out of myself. He frowns at me and holds up a bag of what I'm guessing is food in offering but I just turn away from him and bury my self deeper in the pillow and sheets and close my eyes.

Whats the point of being here if I cant feel?

My arm starts to itch and feel uncomfortable, I raise them and bring them to my face noticing the bandage had gotten bloody again.

I sit up and lay my arms in my thighs and notice that Kevin had reclaimed his seat next to me.

"These itch" I say with out looking up at him.

"Ok, you want me to get a nurse to change them?" He asks me and I nod.

He get up and make his way out of the room coming back with a nurse I had yet to have seen. Now that I think about it I only ever see Nurse Kelly. I guess she has the day off or was sent home.

The nurse walks to my side and tries to make small talk but after me ignoring her she gets to work taking off my bandages.

"Would you like me to leave them off so you can shower and then we can dress them again?" She asks but again I dont look up.

I dont care what you do. I dont care what happens, I just want to feel something, anything other then empty and alone. Or pain and missery.

"Yeah, I'll help her shower, thank you." Kevin answers for me and the nurse leaves. I make a move to touch the long scar on my right arm but his hand shoot out and catches mine.

"I dont think you should touch it baby, come on I'll help you in the shower, yeah?" I look up at him and he flinches at my gaze and drops my hand.

"I want to go home, Kevin, take me home, I'll shower there, I'll sleep there, I'll eat there. Take. Me. Home." I say in a low but firm voice.

His face drops and he nods his head.

"I promise, I'll take you home, but, you have to let the doctor check on the baby."

No, no, no, no, no. There is no way in hell that I am gonna let them touch it. No one will get near it, i will protect it, I will make sure no harm comes to it.

I shake my head frantically at him. Not wanting anyone to come near my baby, I wrap my hands around my belly and notice that it is slightly there, there is a small bump that I had not noticed before and that makes me sad. I hadn't noticed that I was already showing it's not much but its there.

"Why not Ally? Why? They just wanna make sure that its healthy." He says and my head snaps up to look at him begging him to not make me do it.

"I promise I'll be here, and if I see them make any wrong move I'll protect you. I'll protect it. Okay?" He questions and I hesitate but nod, he smiles at me and looks towards the door when Lana walks in.