We make it through the room, but end up not catching Classi. That room was fucking weird. The strippers were attacking us, and a bigger stripper named 'Spontanious Bootay' tried crushing us with her 'booty cheeks'.
Luckily, the Captain and I made it through with no damage. The damage that did happen though, is that Classi left through the door right before we could catch her.
We run out into the alley that's inbetween the strip club, and restaurant. "Them guys are cops!" Classi yells to a man with a gun.
Classi runs in while the man stays behind, and points his gun at us. "Get outta here before I pump your guts full of lead!" The male says as he shoots towards the sky.
A second later a sign falls onto him, knocking him unconscious. Probably with both his legs broken. I wince at that thought.
"What do we do now?" I ask.
"Looks like a job for Captain Diabetes!" The captain says as he gets his apple juice out.
I look at his insulin bottles that are on his chest, and find them both empty. Right before he sips, I grab the apple juice along with his hand. He looks at me confused. "What's wrong?" He asks.
"You're out of insulin. We need to find another way." I reply as I let go of the apple juice, and walk to the garbage to find something sturdy.
His face fills with shock before he puts the apple juice away. Relief filled his eyes. Good thing you stopped him, otherwise he would have gone into diabetic shock, and eventually would have died.
Coon calls the captain as I look. "How's the mission going?"
"It's going good... Static just saved my life."
"Whatever. Are they doing anything suspicious? And have you found the woman with a dick tattoo?"
"Static is a good partner, so no. We did find her! Her name is Classi and she just ran into the restaurant next to the Peppermint Hippo."
"Good, good. Keep up the good work." Coon says as he hangs up.
After a couple of seconds of searching, I find a crowbar and a rusty pipe. I hand the Captain the crowbar, while I keep the rusty pipe. He looks at it confused "What do you want me to do with this?"
"Wedge it in the left side of the sign. I'll do the right. We make the sign fall." I reply as I insert the rusty pipe between the sign and the doorway.
He does the same on the other side, then we push.
After a few trys of this, the sign finally falls. The guy it fell on grunts. "Oops. Forgot he was there." I say as the Captain and I just stare at him.
We look at each other and shrug, then we enter the restaurant. After a quick glance around, we couldn't see Classi, but we spot Coon, Humankite, Mosquito, and Mysterion. We walk up to them.
"Did you guys see Classi run through here? And why are you here?" I ask.
"We're talking about plans and stuff." Coon replies.
Kite glares at Coon and replies with the real answer, "No, Coon made us order food. Anyway, we would have seen a woman run out the front, so she probably when through the back."
"Well come on! Or we'll lose her!" I say as I make them get up and come along. "Man! But we didn't even get to eat." Coon complains.
I look back at him "Shut the fuck up Coon." I say as we head to the the kitchen.
When we get back there, the cooks see us, and get angry looks. "What are'a they doin'a back 'er!?" The head cook asks as they all start getting into fighting stances.
"We'll hold them off! You two keep going!" Mysterion tells us, as him and the other 3 get into fighting stance's as well.
The Captain and I nod. The fight between the cooks, and the 4 hero's start, but we sneak around them.
When we get to the back of the room, we come across a wall of items. "Captain. Give me a lift onto the barrel." I say.
He nods and puts his hands together for me to climb on. I do, and get to the top of the barrel. I then turn around and bend down to grab his hand. I pull him up and we jump to the otherside.
When we enter the next room, our eyes widen in shock. "What the fuck?" I say out loud.
The captain calls Coon again. "What's up Captain Diabetes?" Coon asks.
"We found a room filled with cats in cages." Captain replies.
"Woah dude! Is Scrambles one of them!?"
"Uh, none of them are old and fat."
"Then keep going." Coon says before he hangs up.
I look at the Captain and say, "You know he's in the other room, right? You didn't have to call him. And what the fuck does a restaurant need with a bunch of cats?" I say as I start walking to the only other door in the room.
Captain shrugs and follows. When we get in front of the door, we start hearing voices on the other side. We enter the room and find Classi with 4 guys with guns.
They look up at us and stand up with their guns. "See! I told you them cops were after me!" Classi says in a sassy tone.
"Then why'd you bring them here you stupid bitch!" The bigger one yells.
"Nah ah! You did not just call me a bitch!"
They go on with a bunch of talking, and point their guns at us. We circle each other where me and the Captain are next to Classi, and the guys with the guns are right next to the door.
They keep talking and talking until a man with black hair and his pants down enters and starts beating them up. Something about 'red wine drunk'? The guys with guns runs out scared.
This man then looks at the Captain. "Gimme. My fuckin'. Keys." He slurs as he furrows his eyebrows.
"What'd you do to make him so angry?" I ask the Captain as we back up.
"He was drunk and wanted to drive, so I took his keys!" He told me with panic.
"That's why you were late? I mean that's noble and all, but really? Why are adults so fucking stupid in this town!?" I ask, but don't actually want an answer.
The Captain takes notice of this comment, but ignores it for now. After I said that the other 4 hero's that stayed behind to fight the cooks enter the room.
It takes us a while to actually defeat the black haired adult, who I found out is named Randy, but finally knocked him out.
"Okay, Okay." Classi says as she starts saying important things about the crime wave that's hitting the city.
"Enough small talk," Coon says as he pulls out a missing poster, "Where is scrambles?!"
"Scrambles?" She repeats confused.
"We need the reward money for our superhero franchise." He finishes.
I look at him in shock. We're really looking for this cat for franchise money? Really?
"Oh shit, y'all just wanted a cat?"
Yeah. I got kinda lazy at the end with the battles.
Comment your thoughts and ideas! I'd love to hear them!
1238 words
YOU ARE READING
Southpark Stick Of Heros
Action(Reader Insert) You moved into the town known as Southpark with your Grandma. Your grandma has a money problem, so you try and find a way to make money to help. On a walk, you find the hero's and villains fighting and when its revealed that the vill...
