Southpark Stick Of Heros

Chapter 13

I'm too lazy to go back and change the coverage of the face, so I'll do it here. Your hair used to cover your face, now I'm changing it to a black mask kind of like Mysterions. Only covers around your eyes.

Continue

After all that we brought Classi to the Coons base so Coon could 'interrogate' her, but she keeps yapping about something non important.

"Classi. What about the cat?" Coon finally interrupts her.

She then goes on and on about 6th graders and something about her pussy.

'Jesus. Does this girl ever shut up?' I think to myself.

"Where do the cats go?" Kite interrupts her.

"I can tell you, but I ain't sayin' shit till I know I'm safe, ya understand?" She finishes.

We then hear the basement door open and the voice of Cartmans mom say "Eric Cartman! Do you have any idea what time it is? It is a school night!"

Cartman and his mom argue for a minute before she threatens to call all of our parents. I just rolled my eyes as everyone, including me, gets up and heads up the stairs.

Before we leave though Coon tells us to meet down here tomorrow, and for FastPass to bring Classi home with him.

We exit Cartmans and head home.

~~~°•°~~~

The next day after school we all meet up in Coons base after changing of course. The Coon Friends sit while the Freedom Pals, myself and Chaos stand. I'm stood inbetween Chaos and Mosquito.

"I asked C-classi questions l-like you asked a-and C-c-classi said s-she'll tell us w-where the cat is i-if we get h-h-her medication from t-the Medicinal F-fried Chicken." FastPass tells us.

Coon thinks for a moment then looks at me and says "Static. I expect you to take care of this. Go out and get Classi's medication."

I don't move. They all just stare at me. "What are you waiting for. Fucking go already!" Coon says with irritation.

"Why the fuck do I gotta go?" I ask.

"Umm because I fucking told you so?"

"You seem to be forgetting that I work for Chaos, and Chaos alone. So shut your bitch ass up and do it yourself you lazy piece of shit."

I hear a few chuckles but keep my eyes on Coon who has a shocked look on his face. He then turns to Chaos and starts yelling "You need to get your men in line! You fuc-"

I cut him off as I glare with venom in my voice "Don't you fucking yell at Chaos! He's done nothing wrong. He's a better boss then you'll ever be."

Coon and I have a stare down having an argument with our eyes.

Finally, Toolshed cuts in "Why don't you both go?"

We look at him for a moment before looking back to eachother. I look at Chaos and he nods. I look back at them and answer "Fine."

We all then look at Coon for his answer. He grumbles and finally answers "Whatever."

"But just in case Classi is lying and won't tell us anything, the rest of us need to look around the streets." Professor Timothy says.

Everyone at the table stands up and heads out along with everyone who was stood up leaving Coon and I alone. We glare at eachother before heading up the stairs and out the front door.

It takes us about 10 minutes, but we finally make it to the Medicinal Fried Chicken. We look at the front door and see guns pointed towards it.

I step closer to the door and at that second the guns aim with red lasers saying stuff about minors not aloud in the store, or something close to that.

"Now how the fuck do we get in?" Coon says in an annoyed tone.

I ignore him and look at the panel that is to the right of the door. 'Bingo'

I head to the left of the building, so I can get to the back where they probably have their dumpster.

"Where are you going?" Coon says as he glares at me, "Quitting already? Abandoning the job? That's what I expected from a lowly villain."

I roll my eyes and continue to the back. I find the dumpster and jump in. After a few minutes of digging and cockroaches I finally find a somewhat decent pole.

I jump out of the dumpster and go back to the front where I find Coon on speaker phone with all the other heros.

"He fucking left! Chaos! Your little henchman fucking left! Piece of shit just left when he fucking saw the guns!" Coon rants.

"Maybe there's a reason! Static has always come through for me, so maybe he has a plan!" Chaos defends.

"I believe Static has a plan as well!" The Captain says.

"Now your on his fucking side!?" Coon yells at the Captain.

Smiling at how Chaos and the Captain are trying to defend me I walk out from the corner and towards Coon who is in front of the door.

"Oh look! The wuss is back." Coon says as he glares at me.

"So he didn't abandon the mission? Because if he did he wouldn't have come back." Tupperware says over the phone.

"He's just crawling back for forgiveness cause he knows I'll solve the problem!" Coon yells.

I roll my eyes, push the Coon out of the way and use the pole to press the off button on the panel. The guns lower with the red lasers turning off.

Coon stood there with his mouth agape. "W-what happened?" Fastpass asked over the phone.

Its silent while I look at the Coon with a smug grin. "Coon?" Kite asks.

"I- uh.. Got to go." Coon finally says as he hung up.

"You'll solve the problem?" I say as I smirk.

"Shut up." He replies as he enters the building while I follow behind.

Coon walks up to the counter and starts talking to a towel while I stay behind and look around. Lots of drugs in here. Why is Fried Chicken in their name if all they sell is drugs?

I hear the Towel start yelling at the Coon about how one drug is in the wrong place and then they start fighting. Like not verbally, but physically. Why is it that everywhere we go we get into a fight?

"Static! Help me!" Coon yells.

I look him right in the eyes and say "Fuck no."

His eye twitches, but I ignore it. He starts lighting the merch on fire. After the 4th one the towel slowly stops and talks in a calm drugged up tone. Second later the purchase was complete.

The Coon and myself walk out of the store and start walking to FastPasses house. Coon is grumbling about how useless I am. "Why don't you say what you're saying to my face?" I ask smugly.

He glares at me and finally snaps "Why the fuck didn't you help me in there!? You're so fucking useless! You're no use to anyone, so just go fucking die!" He says as he storms off ahead of me.

I have got to be honest, that kinda hurt. Not because it was from him, but because he said I was no use to anyone. "Whatever.." I brush it off and start jogging to FastPasses house.

Before I could make it to the house though I got a text from in the group chat from Coon saying to meet at the base right now. Everyone excluding me replied with an OK, or a what's going on, or something along those lines.

I switch direction and start my way to base. 3 minutes and I'm at the front door. I enter and go down to the basement. Coon and I make eye contact before I quickly look away, but I can see him smirk from the corner of my eye.

I look around and find that I'm not the last one there making me thankful. I walk over to Chaos and stand next to him as we wait for everyone else to arrive. Eventually that happens.

"So what did Classi say?" Kite asks.

Coon stays quiet for a second before standing up, and asking "Professor Chaos. Why are you hiding it from us?"

Yeah. I like this chapter a lot. Comment what you think! I'd love to see your thoughts!

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