Failure is an inevitability. Every scientist was told "No," over and over. The ones we remember. The ones who changed our lives. The Curies, the Salks...the Barnards...they're the ones who wouldn't take "No" for an answer.
"I don't know." Owen stared down at my chart.
I looked up at him, "Owen Hunt, if you do not clear me for surgery I will end you."
"How?" Owen laughed.
"I will take a large surgical knife." I crossed my arms.
Owen shook his head, "How are you going to get a hold of a surgical knife if I don't clear you?"
"Owen!" I begged.
Owen signed the paper and handed it to me, "Okay, fine. You start tomorrow and I want you easing back in. No taking on traumas all by yourself."
"Deal." I nodded.
Owen headed for the door, "Are you going to Kepner's wedding?"
"Wouldn't miss it." I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up, "Going to see Meredith right after I change into some normal clothes because I'm pretty sure she's giving me a ride."
"Sounds good." he waved, "See you there!"
After waving back I quickly removed my hospital gown and threw on some clothes that my Dad and sister had brought me. The small bag contained some jeans, a shirt, underwear and bras, some heels, and my makeup. Grabbing the bag, I left the I.C.U. and headed down to the 3-D printer room where Meredith was sure to be.
"Hello, hello." I smiled as I walked in.
Meredith spun around to face me, "Hey! You're looking good."
"Yeah." I gestured to my body, "No more ugly gown."
"Meredith! Ellie!" April stormed in, baggy clothes and her hair in curlers.
Meredith looked up, "April, what are you doing? Oh, God. Are you making a break for it? Don't worry. I know what to do."
"Really?" April asked, "Why does everybody think I'm running? I'm not running. Come with me."
April grabbed both of our arms and dragged us out. "You bailed on every single one of your fittings for your bridesmaid's dresses, so..." April lead us into a room where Cristina was being fitted for the beautiful salmon pink dresses we were wearing, "I brought the seamstress to you. You will look pretty for my wedding."
"Hello." the seamstress waved us over, "No clothes, please."
Hesitantly, Meredith and I walked in. "You guys are supposed to be doing this stuff for me." April huffed as she left and slammed the door shut behind her.
"I saw your, uh, press conference." Meredith told Cristina as we undressed, "What happened to you up there?"
Cristina looked to us, "I was supposed to tell them what I did, but I'm not totally sure."
"What do you mean?" I stepped up onto one of the pedestals.
"I'm not sure why the kid is still alive," Cristina said.
"The conduit?" Meredith questioned, "You thought it would fail?"
Cristina sighed, "It did fail. We adjusted, but I don't know what I did, guys. It's like slapping the side of a TV. I fixed it, but I'm not sure how. I feel like a complete fraud.
"So you just went ahead anyway?" Meredith asked as we slipped the dresses on, "I mean, you didn't mention that to anyone?"
Cristina shrugged, "Well, to who, Mer? You weren't talking to me, Ellie was in the I.C.U., Alex was against me. I had no one. I had no choice. It was his best shot."
Meredith took a breath, "Wow. You were right. We are in two completely different places."
"Mer, please," Cristina begged.
"No, I mean, I-I may overreach, and I may have something to prove, but...I will never be as arrogant as you are." Meredith said.
"You know what, Meredith?" Cristina huffed, "Go to Hell. I have listened to your crap for weeks now, and I'm not gonna stand here and take it anymore."
"You stand here." the seamstress turned Cristina away from us.
══════════════════
"You tell me how you can give 100% to your family and 100% to your job." Cristina barked as I stood quietly and listened to them yell at each other, "Uh, it's-it's categorically impossible."
"Because you keep screwing with my research." Meredith snapped.
"Oh, God, Mer." Cristina replied, "My borrowing your printer had nothing to do with your dead sheep. Did you ever think that maybe your research is failing all on its own?"
"Right, because I'm a terrible doctor." Meredith sighed, "We've established that."
Cristina shook her head, "No, I never said that."
"You said that-"
"I never said that!" Cristina turned around, "But you said I was a terrible person...over and over...because I don't agree with you. Because I'm committed to my work. Because I don't want a baby? When did I become such a monster to you?"
"Can I talk to you?" Shane walked in and looked to Cristina.
Cristina groaned, "Shane, go away."
"I thought they should hear what you did, and you downplayed it." Shane explained.
"Shane, I said get out! Go home!" Cristina yelled.
Shane persisted, "And I was right."
"What?" Cristina asked as Shane walked in.
"An e-mail from the Harper Avery foundation requesting a case study and patient status." Shane said, "You're in consideration for this year's award."
Cristina grabbed the sheet and read it herself. "Now, you take off and you take off." the seamstress pointed at Shane and Cristina.══════════════════
"I can't compete as a mother and as a surgeon. You just don't think I can compete against you." Meredith barked.
Cristina nodded, "You can't, because, Mer, this is all I do. This is all I want to do. So don't whine to me because you made a decision you regret now."
"You think I regret my family?" Meredith shot back.
"I think you feel left behind. And that sucks for you, but no one forced you out of the game."
Meredith's eyebrow's furrowed, "I am not out of the game! I just won't sabotage my friends to win it!"
"Oh. Oh, is that what I do?" Cristina asked.
"That's what sharks do." Meredith nodded, "You called it our first day."
"Well, as I recall, I was talking about you." Cristina spat.
Meredith paused and I thought it was finally over, but I was so wrong. "How long have you been sleeping with Shane?" Meredith accused, "He blushes at an exposed ankle. He saw you in your underwear and didn't bat an eye."
"That is none of your business," Cristina said.
"You don't have to justify it to me." Meredith replied as her and I took the now fitting dresses off and slipped our scrubs back on, "He's just hooking up with the best teacher to make sure he can get everything he can. It's what you did all through med school and all through intern year. Congratulations. You've become the thing you worship."
YOU ARE READING
Code Blue | Grey's Anatomy // Book 2 // COMPLETED
General FictionCOMPLETED | SEQUEL TO "NO TIME" | Ellie Forrest has been at Seattle Grace/Mercy West for a few years now, and the job is exactly what she hoped for and much more. While on the road to becoming an amazing surgeon, will Ellie be able to keep her love...