"Nice Lisa? You're not being nice. You're a user! You're using her. From the very start you're already aware how much she loves you. You two literally grow up together, yet you still took advantage of her?!" Jisoo Unnie reminded me for the nth time.
"What can I do? I can't love her! She knows that and she accepted that! Its not my fault that she's being a martyr besides what bad did I do? She's the only girl I'm committed with. I don't hide our status, she can claimed me as her girlfriend." I said annoyed already because of the topic we always discussed.
"Committed my a$$ Lisa, you're committed huh? But openly flirting with different girls, what worst? You do it in front of her! For fvck sake. Can't you see her pain? I'm just watching her, but man I'm literally being broken just that, can you imagine how about her? And she's experiencing that for almost five years now! Argh! Tell me again why we even friends? Jisoo Unnie already shouting.
You see, me and Jennie been bestfriends since we're preschool. I saved her against her bullies and from then on we became bestfriends, we became inseparable. Not until she confessed her feelings to me, 5 years ago.
Jennie Kim? I must say an ideal girl, everyone's dream girl, caring, kind and loving. Not to mention how gorgeous and hottest she is.
Maybe you'll say I'm the luckiest...but I'm not.
I'm not capable of love. I can't and I don't.
She's aware to that but she never left my side, even once, she's always here, available, open, accepting me, understanding me and loving me. I don't deserve her. I really don't, but I know no matter how I hide it inside me, at the back of my mind I still want her to want me. Despite all the pain I caused her I still want her to choose me. Selfish? Yes, I'm aware. I'm also disgusted with myself. Disappointed that I already have here beside me the best girl but kept ruining it, kept ruining her.
I'm total idiot.
***
Flashback
"Please Lili? Just give me a chance? I'll show you that you're capable of love." Jennie said pouting.
I sighed.
"Nini you know I can't, I don't want to hurt you." I explained. I'm already lost count how many times we talked about this, Jennie asking me to be her girlfriend.
Of course who will decline that offer. This kind of girl asking you to hers?
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