every sign: HIT ME. HIT ME WITH YOUR CAR
Capricorn: I just realized I had the remote in my hand, the entire time I was looking for my reason to stay alive
Leo: if I had a penny for every time I wasn't cool, I'd have no pennies
Aries: did you just curse? We don't talk like that in this god damn motherfucking house. Shit
Virgo: Sabra gives you all your daily nutrients, like zero grams of trans fat and oh my god cholesterol
Scorpio: I have Cheerios because they're heart healthy. And my heart is severely damaged. So John if your out there-
Cancer: do not eat. Looks like I will not be eating this silica gel guys
YOU ARE READING
Zodiac Signs
De TodoAll Credit Goes To Google, Tumblr, etc. When I decide to write a bunch down at 12 at night it gets updated
