i'm tired of feeling comatose {raven's song: book two}

one • you have my word

Chris's POV

Raven lay in front of me, eyes closed, breathing tube down her throat. It had been four months since the crash. I knew my baby would wake up, though. No matter what anyone said, I had faith in her.

The doctors had asked TJ and I if we'd be okay with them taking her off of life support a few months back. TJ considered it, saying she'd be more peaceful in death, but I refused. That was one of the many times I broke down in tears because of this.

I held onto Raven's hand, begging for her to show me she's still here. Even just a little. I need her now more than ever.

I smiled at her black nails. Kylie, Devin's girlfriend, had suggested we paint them every week so when she wakes up, she'll know we were here. I agreed, so we usually switched between black and purple, her favorite colors.

"Raven, I miss you," I say quietly. "Today, I wrote another song about you. It's called Dead as Fuck. It's kind of more of a joking song, how you like them. I hope it's not disrespectful ..."

Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to nobody. I'm meant to be speaking to Raven, but even I can't hear myself the way I want to.

"Anyway, the guys all miss you. Their girlfriends and them have been here at least twice every week since the crash. I've been here everyday ... they even brought me in an extra cot.

"Birdy, when are you gonna wake up? We can't keep playing this waiting game ..." I trail off.

I need her so badly. I want her to wake up ... I need her to wake up. I sigh and lay my head on her limp shoulder.

Ricky and Devin walk into the room and I smile at them. They ask about Raven and we conversate about that and a few other things.

The door opens and the doctor walks in. "Mr. Cerulli, I'd like to have a chat," he says.

"Sure, Dr. Roberts," I reply, pulling my chair away from the bed a bit, still holding Raven's hand.

"I know you refused taking her off of life support," he begins.

"I'm not having this conversation again," I say.

"No, listen. She's stable enough now to breathe on her own. I myself think she's going to wake up soon. Since you're in here with her all the time, you can keep an eye on her. The other doctors and nurses ... they really don't want her taking up that machine. It's up to you, though."

I hesitate. What if she's not strong enough? No, I know my Birdy. She's a fighter.

I nod. "Unplug her - but promise we can hook her back up if it doesn't work."

"You have my word."

"Are you sure?" Ricky whispers.

"Yeah," Devin agrees. "What if it doesn't work?"

I close my eyes and exhale. "I don't know. I'm trying to make good descions here. They do kinda need that machine ... She's strong, you know."

He calls in a few nurses and have one remove her breathing tube and the others prep the machine for it to be unplugged.

I take a deep breath and watch as the doctor grabs the cord. He gently yanks it out of the outlet.

Beep ... beep ... beep ...

Beeeeeeep.

My eyes widen as the red flatline shows up on her heart moniter. "Raven!" I scream as the nurses usher us out of the room.

I run back up to the now closed door, pounding on it. "Plug her back in! Now!"

Ricky and Ghost manage to pull me back. "Calm down, man," Ricky says, tears forming in his eyes.

My bottom lip quivers and my head falls. I follow them out into the waiting room and wait for the doctor to bring us news.

Damn, it's so hard to write chapters like this!
     - salem ♡

Edited and revised
644 words