i'm tired of feeling comatose {raven's song: book two}

six • shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up

Chris's POV

Raven and I sat on her bed, listening to Puppets. I was so proud she remembered the song - let's just hope she doesn't recall the meaning.

I've never had the words to say
But I can quote them all
I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody

"What's this song about?" Raven asks.

I want to tell her so badly. I need her to start remembering more. I couldn't tell her, though. I couldn't bring up old memories and reopen old wounds. "Just an old friend."

"Who?"

Something inside of me snaps, and I growl, "mind your own fucking business."

Her face falls and I grimace. "I'm sor-" I start.

"Please, leave me alone." She pushes me out of the room and closes the door, Immaculate Misconception now playing.

I messed up. I didn't mean to snap at her. She just mentioned something I don't like talking about. I didn't like remembering how she left me, alone and vulnerable.

•    •    •    •    •

Raven's POV

I was freaking the fuck out. My bipolar disorder was getting out of hand, and a manic episode was definetly about to happen.

It sucked because I felt as if I had no one to comfort me. I couldn't recall details about anyone, and I felt guilty whenever they tried helping me, because half the time I didn't even know their name.

My leg had been tapping for the past ten minutes and I was shaking. A feeling of euphoria washed over me; that usually happened in the beginning stages of my manic episodes.

Anger was next. I would be incredibly pissed off, and I was happy Chris left the room before. I didn't want my so called boyfriend to witness my manic episode, although I suppose he did before if we've been friends since our childhood.

I would cry towards the end of my episodes. The sadness would hit me and it would all come flooding out. I wished I had someone to hold me, or talk to me ... would Chris?

"Chris!" I call out.

He opens my door about twenty seconds later. "Are you okay?"

I give him a shaky grin - my euphoria was still here - and shake my head. "Manic attack."

He wrapped his arms around me. "Just breathe."

I listened to him and took in a deep breath.

In

Out

In

Out

"Chris ... I'm sorry," I say, tears forming in my eyes.

"About the questions? No, I'm sorry. I overreacted, and-"

"No," I interrupt. "I'm sorry for everything. You've been so kind to me, you've been there for me since the beginning of it all and I can't even remember you."

Chris takes a deep breath and assures me, "you'll be able to remember everything soon."

I snuggle myself into his side. "Can you tell me some stories?"

My manic had calmed down and I just wanted to hear Chris's voice. Even if I couldn't exactly recall everything about him, I knew I had love for him.

"Sure," he says. "We went on tour once, all of us together. That was when I kissed you ... when we admitted our love to each other. Anyways, Devin and you were always planning pranks. This one time, we were all messing with a Ouija board, and Ryan and Vinny were convinced the bus was haunted. You and Devin went around, knocking things over and calling out people's names in the night. It was so hilarious, the look on their faces."

"Does Devin go by another name? I know someone was called Ghoul, or something."

"Close!" He urges me to speak more.

"Ghost?"

"Yes, yes, he goes by Ghost!"

I grin and snuggle further into his side. "I have a question."

"What?"

"Since I can't exactly recall our relationship, can we go out to dinner tonight?"

He nods. "That's a great idea. How long do you need to get ready?"

"An hour."

Chris plants a kiss on my forehead and stands up. I smile at him and he walks out of my room, leaving my door open a crack. I grab my phone and fiddle with it until I find my music app. I hit shuffle since I didn't remember which songs and bands were which.

I grabbed a tight, black dress and small fishnets. I paired it with black, two-inch platforms and plugged in my hair straightener. I began straightening my black and white hair. I had black rings in my septum and snakebites, as well as black tunnels in my ears. I did simple makeup and stood up, admiring my outfit.

Chris knocked on my door. "Are you ready?"

I walk towards the door, opening in, and nod. "Yea."

Chris was wearing a white button up that was tucked into his black jeans. He had black dress shoes on and his long hair was brushed and straightened. His eyebrows were drawn to perfection and his black eyeshadow was smeared strategically.

"You look beautiful, Raven," he commented.

"Thank you, you look very nice as well," I reply.

Feeling a burst of confidence, I grabbed his hand and began walking downstairs. I felt a flutter inside my stomach when Chris squeezed my hand. I hope this goes well ...

Wattpad is being dumb, but it'll be okay.
     - salem ♡

Edited and revised
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