i'm tired of feeling comatose {raven's song: book two}

twenty four • homebound

Chris's POV

Raven, Abigail, and I were finally able to go home. We needed a nice, relaxing, week or two before going out again.

I unlocked the door and we made our way inside. Raven set Abby's baby carrier on the floor and began untieing her shoes.

"Want me to take her up to her nursery?" I asked.

Raven nodded. "That'd be great, thank you."

I grabbed the carrier and smiled down at my daughter. A mini me. I can't wait until she's old enough so I can try drawing on her eyebrows.

I walk into the nursery and take Abigail out of the carrier. "Look, this is your room," I tell her.

I place her into her crib. She was already falling asleep, so I quietly snuck into the hall and back downstairs.

Raven was making a sandwich for herself so I took a seat at the counter. "Should we make a schedule for things?"

"Like?" She asks.

"Like who gets up in the night to check on her, that kinda stuff."

"We can just take turns with it," she says. "Or whoever feels more awake."

I nod. "Sounds good. Need anything?"

She shakes her head. "I'm good."

She seemed distant, but I wasn't gonna say anything about it. She just had a baby, so I was just gonna give her time to recuperate.

I make my way into the living room and sit down. There wasn't anything else to do. I guess I was going to watch t.v. until Abby woke up, or I had something else to do.

•     •     •     •     •

Raven and I were snuggled together on the couch. Raven had Abigail in her arms and we both couldn't keep our eyes off of her.

"I can't believe we finally have a daughter," Raven says.

I smile. "I know."

"And we're getting married soon."

I nod. "It's wonderful, but I have some news."

"What's up?"

"Well, the guys and I just released our new album a few months ago and we haven't been able to go on tour yet. We have to leave in a few weeks," I tell her.

"Shit, for now long?"

"Three months."

"And I'm supposed to take care of a newborn on my own?" She questions with a hint of anger in her voice.

"I don't want to leave, but this is the only way I'm gonna make money to support us!"

Abigail starts fussing and Raven stands up. "You go and leave me here with this baby, I'll figure it out."

She walks upstairs into Abby's nursery. I felt really bad but I had to go. It was what I needed to do to make money. Raven needs to understand that it's my career.

Thirty minutes later, Raven comes back downstairs. I stayed quiet because I didn't want to upset her even more.

She purses her lips. "Look, I'm sorry."

I shrug. "It's okay."

"You're too forgiving. Sometimes I just want you to yell and scream at me, tell me that I'm a bad person and that I don't deserve you."

"Why would you want that?"

"Because I want you to express your anger."

"I can't express it if there isn't any," I reply.

"But there is. Chris, I know you get pissed at me. I'm flighty ever since my crash and I've been a bitch ever since I got pregnant. Jesus, I left you after I promised to be with you forever."

"That's in the past, though," I say. "If I wasn't forgiving, we wouldn't be together. Yes, I'm mad about things that have happened. But I don't hold grudges, Raven. So you can beg me to yell and scream and fight, but I'm not going to."

She looks down at her feet. "How can you not be mad at me when I'm mad at myself?" She nearly whispers.

"I've forgiven you and now you need to forgive yourself." I climb off of the couch and walk towards the stairs. "I'm going to bed."

Raven doesn't move from her stance. I sigh and continue making my way into our bedroom.

I knew parenting was gonna be hard, but I didn't think it was going to put so much strain on our relationship. Maybe Raven was right about her worries.

I'm proud of this chapter. This book is probably coming to and end soon but I plan on writing a third book.
     - salem ♡

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