i'm tired of feeling comatose {raven's song: book two}

seven • i know now

Raven's POV

Chapter contains smut.

I had made a decision. I needed to remember, so I needed a plan. The whole way to the restaurant, I'd been constructing one.

The last time I hung out with the guys, they'd told me the story of when Chris and I accidentally spilled the secret of him taking my virginity. Of course, Chris wasn't there, so he doesn't know that I know.

Maybe it'd help me remember if I seduced Chris.

If I could remember this supposedly wonderful moment every girl terrifyingly dreams of, I should be able to recall more memories from my teenage years. That should be enough to gather everything else, right?

Not at all did I want to take advantage of Chris. This had to be consensual. And, if we're dating as everyone says, shouldn't he be okay with it?

"We're here, birdy," he announces, pulling me from my thoughts.

I look out of my window to see a semi fancy restaurant called Juliana's. "This is nice, hun. Thank you."

He smiled when he heard me call him 'hun.' "Of course."

We get out of the vehicle and make our way into the restaurant. We're seated and quickly brought our drinks. We ordered our food and sat there, making small talk.

I took this time to observe Chris. His black hair was long and fell to a little below his shoulders. His eyes were a beautiful honey color and they popped with the right amount of black or purple eyeshadow. His eyebrows were always symetyrical - wait.

"We were fifteen. I snuck into your room and we shaved our eyebrows out of rebellious impulse that night," I blurt out. I should've realized that way earlier.

He lets out a relieved chuckle. "Yes, we did. My mom didn't appreciate it that much."

"Your mom ... momma Cerulli ... Leigh Anne!"

He nods. "And my dad?"

"Jimmy ... no, Jerry!"

"Brother and sister?"

"Nick and Jenny!"

It was slowly coming back, bit by bit. By the end of the night, I planned to remember a lot more.

•    •    •    •    •

Smut starts here

Chris and I walked back into his house, a smile rested upon my lips. I didn't just want to have sex with him to find my memories. I wanted so badly to remember our love.

We sat on the couch. I exhaled deeply and  leaned towards Chris. He looked taken aback but kissed me, nonetheless.

I moved so I was straddling his waist and he pulled back. I moved my lips to his jaw, but he stopped me. "Raven ... we can't do this if you don't remember me."

"I love you, Chris. Just because I may not remember everything doesn't mean I don't love you. My love for you didn't vanish with my memories. Please Chris ... maybe I can remember something." I was nearly begging, but no, it wasn't because I wanted my mind back. I wanted to know what it felt like to be in Chris's arms, to feel his lips on my skin.

He bit his lip and looked down, contemplating. I shifted a bit on his lap and leaned back towards him. He didn't turn away this time, he kissed me back.

I began to move my waist against his and he kissed me harder, slipping his tongue into my mouth. He moved me so I was laying down and he was perched ontop of me.

I slipped my shirt off and his expert hands undid my bra, sliding that off as well. I moaned as he licked a line from my stomach up to in between my breasts. He was quick to take my pants off after that.

During the time I was laid upon the couch, us passionately fucking, I remembered what it felt like the first time. The pleasure he was able to bring me and the eye rolling finish. I prepared myself for that, and he didn't fail to make the memory into reality.

Once we were both finished, he leaned forward to kiss me once more. "Did you enjoy yourself?"

I nod. "Did you?"

He smirks and kisses my neck slowly. When he pulls back, he replies, "of course."

I knew he was itching to ask me if I was able to recall anything. I needed time to think, and with exhaustion and pleasure still coursing through my bones, I excused myself for a bath.

The warm water wrapped around me like a blanket and I sighed, a bit sore. Here's what I remembered:

1.) Chris and I had taken each other virginity when we were about 16 or 17.

2.) I'd had feelings for him since before that night.

3.) I love Chris, even though I can't recall everything about him. Our love is so strong I could feel it coursing through my veins from the moment I awoke from my coma.

Everything after that night was hazy. Surely Chris and I had more memories together after that. When did we start dating? When did he start making music? Was there somebody else who took my place for awhile, somebody he wrote the songs like Puppets and City Lights about?

Maybe I should ask him this. He wouldn't mind helping me. He did seem a bit sensitive when I asked about Puppets the first time. He probably would be this time, too.

Tonight was good. I didn't exactly remember everything I was hoping I would, but I remebered the most important thing of all: I love Chris, and I always have.

I have writing smut, but I think I did pretty decent at it. Idk tho.
     - salem ♡

Edited and revised
935 words