The Holy emo bible

the buttchair fic

Phil! Phil! Look what Ive bought! Dan enthusiastically shouted from the hall. Phil was just walking down the stairs and he saw Dan standing with a curious looking object in his hands, covered in bubble wrap and about half the size of Dan.

What is it? Phil asked amused.

Its a butt-chair, Phil! A butt-chair! Dan grinned.

Isnt it amazing? They just delivered it, I cant wait to see how it looks in my room! Dan and Phil carried the huge thing up the stairs to Dans room.

Can I have the wrappings? Phil asked.

Sure, Phil, Dan answered, knowing his best friend was always happy to play with funny things like bubble wrap.

The now unwrapped butt-chair gleamed in all its magnificence. Dan pushed it to his out of tune piano and sat on it. How about some music? he asked.

Take it away Dan! Phil laughed. Dan began to play. It was a sort of Wild West style saloon theme, and Phil could not help but move to the merry tune. He swung his arms from left to right, he moved his feet like he didnt even know he could, and he shook his hips, feeling free and fun and flowers, and a bit like Baloo from Disney's Jungle book.

Nice playing, Dan! he said in a jazzy sort of way. Dan looked around at him smiling, and then amazed, amazed at how well Phil was dancing!

Wow Phil, I didnt know you got those moves! Dan laughed. Phil had started to shake his own butt in a very South-American salsa style, and he was dancing wilder and wilder, rejoicing and Dan played on and on until the song finished with a final mighty chord. Phil plunged on the ground, panting.

Phew! What was that?! That was the best Ive ever danced in my life!

Dan went to sit down on the ground next to Phil and said maybe you just really like saloon songs?

Well not really, not before today anyway Phil breathed.

The next day, Phil lay on his bed and looked at the bubble wrap cape he had made. He was still thinking about the amazing happenings from yesterday when hed felt like a professional dancer while Dan had been playing piano from his butt-chair. The doorbell rang so he went down to open the it for his and Dans friends Chris and PJ. Dan came walking downstairs as well and they all greeted each other. They were going to talk about a huge collaborative video they would shoot for Dan and Phils radio show.

When they all had drinks and talked a bit, Dan said We should definitely shoot some of the footage in my room, as I now have a butt-chair!

A butt-chair?! PJ asked incredulously and Chris giggled.

Yes. Come and look at it! The whole party followed Dan into his room where they beheld the fantastic stool.

Can I sit on it? Chris asked.

No! Only the king of the butt-chair can sit there! Dan joked.

In stead of Game of Thrones we have Game of butt-chairs here said Phil.

I am Daenerys Buttgaryen and my magical dragon is called Puff said Chris.

Winter is coming? More like butt-wind is coming! said PJ and they all said Oh nooo in variable degrees of exasperation and amusement.

Take your butt-wind to the hall, PJ said Dan.

Did you know I was a dancing god yesterday? Phil asked. Dan laughed.

Yeah! You were amazing, Phil! Have you been playing too much Just Dance?

Not at all Phil laughed.

Hey, I have an idea! Dan said. Why dont we shoot a part of our video with me playing the piano and you guys dancing to it? They all agreed and when theyd set up the cameras and Phil got his cape which looked ridiculous but adorable, Dan began to play.

PJ and Chris felt the same sensation that Phil had felt the day before; moving their feet, shaking their hips, the two guys began to dance a real tango, all the while laughing at how weird this was but they were surprised at how well they danced too. Phil however was not affected this time and looked more closely at the other guys who seemed to be in some kind of trance. Then Phil looked at the butt-chair and saw that it did more than gleam. It actually emitted light and that light was somehow reflected in the others eyes, even when they werent directly facing the chair.

Dan laughed at Chris and PJ and said Why arent you dancing, Phil? You were the lord of the dance yesterday.

Your butt-chair is magical, Dan! Phil said.

I know right! Dan joked.

No, Im serious, Dan! Theres a light coming from it and it has you three playing and dancing!

Dan just laughed and continued to play. Why was Phil not affected by the chair this time? He pondered for a second, popping one of the bubbles on his cape. Then it hit him. It was the bubble wrap! It somehow magically protected him! But the others seemed to have so much fun, he felt kind of jealous. Moreover, he thought about the video they were trying to shoot.

Lets have fun then, he said while accepting the magic of the butt-chair and threw his protective cape on the ground.

Immediately he began to dace around and Dan said Yeah, twerk it, Phil! Im going to use the outtakes of this scene for my sexy end-screen dance, just so you know!

And Im going to use this idea of a magic dance for and episode of Oscar's Hotel! PJ said, while twirling Chris round and round. Finally the song ended and they all laughed hysterically about what had just happened.

this was not that bad