Ineffable

Alarm

I don't need an alarm clock anymore

Instead, I'm woken up by your touch

But you're not there

They say that dreams can be broken down and analyzed

but how can they analyze the Devil

or the God

or my Guardian Angel

or whatever

for giving me hope every night that I can wake up to his kiss one more day

But then wakes up at a time that is still night with nothing beside me except my tears from three hours ago when I finally cried myself to sleep

Early bird catches the worm, but I don't want fucking worms

I don't want worms

I want his smile every time he told me he loved me

I want his embrace whenever my anxiety needs calming

I want his fingers

On my cheek

Or in my hand

Or on my ass

Or somewhere to hold me still

And to have the joy to walk away from someone

And drop their heart like an empty shot glass

Building up the courage

Building up the car

Building up the status

But not for me

Not for himself

So, for him to simply forget means that I'm not someone worth remembering

It means that I was just a person to be with until

When he was my person to be with forever