Ineffable

Toxic

I fall in love with everything

I fall in love with colors no matter how ugly others think they are

I fall in love with grocery shopping

I fall in love with the caring asshole

I fall in love with the sky when it storms and the water when it's cold

I fall in love with bad poetry and bad food

I fall in love with animals

I fall in love with emptiness

I guess that's why I fall in love with everything,

because being in love is equivalent to being happy

There's only one thing I can never be in love with though,

and I don't know how to tell her because whenever I wake up next to her

I smile and embrace her

Whenever she eats unhealthily, I let her

Whenever she deprived herself of water

I only think about how maybe she'll get dizzy and leave me alone

Whenever she doesn't want to exercise but sleep in, I let her

Whenever she lets her feelings get hurt by someone, I don't talk to her about leaving

Whenever I look and see her in the mirror

I smile and scan her thick, oblique body knowing that if I don't, no one else will