The Wall Between Us (YoongixReader)

Chapter 17

I sit down at the work table scribbling nonsense on my paper to make it look like I'm doing something.

Jojo monitors the show intently while Daechi and Yaelin bicker about something from across the table.

If it were up to me, I wouldn't have even come in. HE is on air right now. I don't look up from what I'm doing. I made sure my back is towards the recording room so I don't even have the urge to. My thoughts are too conflicted to deal with him.

I mean there's a part of me that loves Yoongi. A part that wants to forgive him for anything. And besides, he said his mother killed my mom. Not him.

But the other part, the part that's taking up most of my brain, is grief and anger bottled inside of me. I wish people didn't keep stuff from me. I'm not a child anymore. But everyone still keeps treating me like I am.

"Woah!" I'm snapped out of my thoughts as Yaelin pushes her chair towards me. "You must be upset if you've been doing that this whole time."

I look down at my paper. My thoughts made me push my pen down harder and rip through the paper.

I let out a long sigh and rip the paper off. I start to ball it up but I still see that I left indents in the other paper.

"Alright, unnie. Tell me what's wrong, " Yaelin stares into my eyes.

I look away to the side. I can't tell her all of it since no one knew that there was something going on between HIM and me.

I sigh again. I haven't really told anyone anything so maybe it would be good to talk to her. But I don't want to make a scene or anything. I cry when I'm angry.

"There was this guy, " I finally say.

"And things aren't going right with this guy?" Yaelin asks.

I shake my head. "It's more that he was keeping something from me."

"He was cheating on you??" Yaelin asks with wide eyes. "Who is he? Where does he live? No one treats my unnie that way!"

I quickly shake my head. "No! No! No, he just kept a big secret from me." I murmur the last part. "Besides, I don't think he would do that to me."

Yaelin lets out a breath. "Well, honestly, this whole thing could've been worse. Maybe he kept it to spare your feelings? How bad is it?"

I stare into the table. "I...I don't know exactly. The truth...it hurts. But it isn't hurt that I'm feeling. It's something else. But I don't know what it is."

Yaelin stares at me. Finally, she puts her hand on my shoulder while standing up. "Well, once you do know. Come to me. I'll be here for you to talk it out, okay? I'm going to get us some pocky, okay?"

I smile up at her. "Of course I will. And thank you."

She smiles back and leaves the room.

I go back to scribbling on my paper again.

What is this heavy feeling in my heart?

A few days passed and I was able to get a few days off of work. I take a long-awaited break but relaxing in my apartment just feels empty to me. Watching movies doesn't bring me joy. Even cooking food makes me sad. How can food make someone so sad?

Right now I lay on my bedroom floor staring blankly at the ceiling. I let out another breath as I feel another pang of sadness. What is making me feel this way? It's seriously annoying.

I hear a small knock from my bedroom door. I look up and immediately groan. Jungkook is standing in the doorway. I forgot to change my passcode.

"Hey, Y/N," Jungkook says while walking in completely. "How, uh...how have you been?"