Marvel x Male Reader (1/2)

More Multiverses: The Worst of Wattpad

Literally inspired by a funny remark made by Kam_Danvers. For some reason I have grown obsessed with it and I'm sure a bit more of this shit wouldn't be much of a bother. So without further ado, the Worst of Wattpad...fan fiction.

You: So, ever since I took you to meet...you, the group mind has decided (that's technically a reference to a show I watch) to pester me more about the infinite possibilities. And instead of showing you one where you're all zombies, allow me to demonstrate this. As I've told you, Strange can take us to a separate world, but I can show it. Now, there's this app called Wattpad. Download it and search Marvel...see you tomorrow.

Tomorrow:

You: Shit, you're all traumatized. Wade, I assume you somehow filmed their reactions.

Wade: Well, I had to.

You: Excellent. Now here is a universe where the worst parts are REAL and not fanfics.

Wade: Did you forget-

You: Nice try, but no, do NOT make a joke about us being the worst part. I have self-esteem when it comes to this and the stories are good. Make like the Deadpool 2 cover: Badass. Smart-ass. Great ass. No need to remove the adjectives and become..an ass.
Show the bad of Wattpad
Yes, really.
Horrible enough to make people switch to AO3.

In a parallel universe:

Steve: Hey, nice shirt.

You: Thank you. Man, the sky is so beautiful and blue. Just like your eyes *wink*

Out of P.U:

Steve: WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?! Why are we-they, us, making out?!

You: To be fair this has only been found with Fortnite and its Aussie gamers but it would be an inappropriate incorporation and an unnecessary advertisement for the Muselk×Lazarbeam fics to demonstrate those situations using them.

Wade: As if that was better.

You: It was 😑. Example Number 2.

Into P.U:

Peter: Hello my namr is Petr.

You: Whatsoup? Names y/n.

Peter: You look so cute. Do you want to go to my house to play video games and fix a LEGO death star?

You: Yesh, sounds cool.

Later at an undetermined point in time: After 1 date:

Peter: Will you be my boyfrind?

You: Ok, only if we do something sexy😏.

Out of P.U:

Peter: Why isn't the sex the thing that bothers me?

You: Because the bad plot and horrible grammar is much more noticeable than the awkward sex scene. Also my penis is not 11 inches.

Wade: That's why, luckily, he has me.

You: You are 7 inches max.

Tony: Are you seriously starting a penis size convo...without me? I can easily reach 8.

You: That is not new information. And of course it's easy you once made sexual innuendos because I was sucking on a potato chip. You horny bastard. Example 3.

In P.U:

Tony: WHO ATE MY FUCKING PIZZA?!

Peter: IT WASN'T FUCKING ME I'M ADOPTED

Out of P.U:

Wade: r/holup, are you seriously mocking the Marvel Family stories.

You: If something makes sweet, innocent Peter...and at some point Steve, curse and be inappropriate, then yes, I will judge them even though I'm excited for the next parts of mj_marvel 's take on it. I'm not gonna be biased, I bash people for being hypocrites, so I'm still shitting on it.

Wade: Even though one day you're going to run out of ideas and write using that concept anyway.

You: I would rather use movie soundtracks to hypnotize people as my next fanfic, and I'm considering it. And it would be A WHOLE BOOK!

Wade: Real smooth way of asking for their opinions.